Help re: abusive mother

[melisa]

Hi----
My mother was very abusive while I grew up. As a Cancer this was very painful for me, and I also have Moon conjunct my 4th, and Mars oppose 4th. Counseling was helpful, and now I need help via astrology. Can you see anything in my chart that would help me overcome my traumatic upbringing with my mother (who is dead)?
I get overly sensitive to criticism , and react to neutral comments as rejections (stemming from her abuse) which really damages my current relationships. Mercury in 12th square Neptune probably fuels this overreaction to rejection, and my Moon oppose Mars makes me too blunt and angry when hurt.
The <only> thing I can see in my chart that would help me overcome this and not let it damage my current relations is Moon sextile Saturn (learning lessons re: emotions, and becoming emotionally tougher and less sensitive). If you have any feedback re: what I can focus on in my chart that would help I would be grateful

Thank you

Melisa


[thread moved to Psychology & astrology. Poster did comment on own chart, no need to be in Greenhorns. Moderaror.]

[wilsontc]

melisa,

You said:

Originally Posted by melisa

My mother was very abusive while I grew up...my mother (who is dead)...The <only> thing I can see in my chart that would help me overcome this and not let it damage my current relations is Moon sextile Saturn (learning lessons re: emotions, and becoming emotionally tougher and less sensitive). If you have any feedback re: what I can focus on in my chart that would help I would be grateful

I think this is simply about forgiveness. NOT acceptance or even agreeing with what your mother did, but forgiving her completely and let going of all the anger that has built up over the years. She is gone...let it go...holding onto anger can only hurt you.

Suggesting,

Tim

[R4VEN]

Melisa, I am drawn to examining your chart firstly because I am also one who had an abusive mother (and I buried her abuses in my body, so I admire that you are facing this head on), and there are several other people who regularly contribute to this forum who have had similar experiences. There is no doubt at all that primal experiences with parents - both of them - have life-changing effects upon us, and can damage us for a long time if we let it.

I'm not sure to what degree astrology can help you to actually heal, but I have managed to use it (in my own life, as well as in the lives of others whom I have helped) to shine some light on why it is certain things have happened, how one will likely carry these earlier life experiences, their effects upon us, and perhaps an avenue through this. For me, astrology has given my life some context and meaning, but I have had to do some hard, hard work on healing the original wounds. Astrology cannot do the healing, but it may help you to make sense of the seemingly nonsensical.

You have already mentioned some very significant placements ...
Your Moon-Neptune conjunction in Scorpio, both in opposition to Mars in Taurus, and with Mercury in Leo squaring Neptune, and your IC in Scorpio - itself ruled by Pluto in Virgo in the 4th - is one overwhelming mother-relationship. This is a sign of manipulation and control in the home, and of constant conflict with the mother. I suspect that her words would have just `gone in', so that whenever anyone in your life says things to you which make you feel like your mother made you feel, then you'd take them on with all guns blazing. Mars opp Moon is a sure sign of a conflicted relationship with the mother, which then develops into an almost compulsive and dogged need to `right wrongs' which occur in your life. You have to be careful with this, as it could turn into addictive behaviour, and become an exhausting quest to `make your world right'. I also suspect that her behaviour may have had its origins in her own sense of disempowerment in her life, but I don't think you're ready to go there quite yet. It is important for you to maintain awareness that her abusive behaviour was never about you - she may have seen herself in you, and that was enough to tip her over the edge into abuse.

I look at Chiron's placement when working with early life wounding. There won't be enough space here to go into it in any detail, but if what I write `speaks' to you, then I can go further into this for you..............

You have Chiron in Pisces conjunct the asteroid Ceres,
http://members.wizzards.net/~magyan/Chiron_Aspects.html
both in the 7th house, itself ruled by Uranus in the 12th. Chiron in Pisces children were brought up by parents already traumatised by their earlier lives spent in a time of deep uncertainty and world crisis. Thus, the Chiron in Pisces generation - born between 1961 - early`69 - have come in to the world with a fear of life pulling the rug out from under them, feeling that there is no place for them, and that they have to work hard, be good and obedient, or they will lose everything. Chiron in the 7th means that your primary relationships - partners, best friends - will be wounding (probably encompassing the original wounds somewhere within these relationships) and you will most likely choose wounded people as your partners. The purpose of your relationships will be in coming face-to-face with your own wounding for the purposes of transforming those wounds. What I'm saying here is that what you dislike or are confronted by in your partners and closest friends will be the `mirror' in which you see yourself or your original wounder. The Uranus factor, plus you being a sensitive Cancerian will probably mean that you will run and hide when faced with anyone even remotely abusive - or you may use that Moon opp Mars and take them on. Neither approach is terribly useful, although you should not remain in any kind of abusive relationship yourself.

Your natal Chiron is in opposition to your natal Pluto - itself ruling the IC - so it is really fundamental to work with Pluto, and this is no easy task. People with this placement almost always have to work with expressing their personal power in an appropriate way, and almost all have had early-life experiences of feeling disempowered and fragile. The key to working with this is to express your own power as yourself, and within yourself, and to resist becoming controlling, overpowering or dominant towards others.

There is much more, but that will do for now.
I think that your timing is also interesting. You enter your Chiron Return (when your natal Chiron returns to its own natal position) between early 2010, and into 2012, and during these years there will be tremendous potential for healing at a deep level.

I have just put your chart on my own program, and I notice that your Mercury is almost unaspected. It is only squaring Neptune, and forms no other major aspects. (It forms a quincunx with Chiron, but that most likely detracts from your being able to express it well until after your Chiron return.) This means that you may have trouble with expressing it (and being in the 12th house will render it very very sensitive, too, and perhaps difficult to `find' and express clearly and appropriately) or you may even over-express it, but speaking too much or at the wrong time. With its only avenue for expression being that difficult Neptune, then you may think and act always from your wounds, and to express yourself in any other way is going to require discipline and self-knowledge.
I'd suggest you read through this thread:
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum...pected+planets
as it may help you to identify some things which you have experienced in your life.

PS Sorry this post is so darned long. My natal Mercury is also almost unaspected, and when I begin to write I cannot stop. It's a sickness!!

[aquarius7000]

Melissa,

Firstly, I'd like to underline Tim's (wilsontc) advice of forgiving and letting go of the past. The past is just that.. the past, and shouldn't be allowed to mar your 'present'. I know this is easier said than done, but you have to do this for yourself, especially so the negativity doesn't build up any further, and so that such energies do not get 'stuck' within you (Sat-Mars and Sat-Moon plus an intense/ obssessive Sco Moon that doesn't forget easily..) and harm you further. Energy needs to move and flow, and, if you do not let that (negative) energy 'flow out' of your system, there is a good risk of it taking some other shape.... anger towards others/yourself, or even some health malady (with Mars involved.. often ulcers or even physical accidents, or skin ailments..Mars-Sat aspects). Work on that already bottled-up energy by doing some sports or meditational yoga.. excellent to instill some harmony within your being.

To astrologically answer your question briefly, the Moon-Mars (anger, even physical violence) opposition, esp with the Moon being in Scorpio (control and power play) is very telling. Though I usually don't look at asteroids much (except for Chiron), the closeness between Chiron (wounded healing) and Ceres (nurturing and being nurtured) did jump out at me. So those are some astro pointers, but really try to gradually rise above it all, and live your present as a real 'present'. Your exact Sun-Moon and close Sun-Ven trines are all for it, so work with them, but you have to teach your Scorpion Moon to release the negative energy and to forget. That will also help fortify your personal value-system (N-Node in the 2nd house of personal values).


Best,
AQ7

[astrologer50]

Not only does your chart show a problem with mother but Sun,venus opp saturn sugggests a problem with father and feeling unloved and uncherished from childhood. Your moon neptune conj should make you very intutive, psychic and emotionally disillusioned connected to mum. The moon opp mars is very bossy mother.

Mercury retrograde in 12th shows you were not allowed to communicate properly and thoughts have to 'go in' first and by analysed before they come out and when they come out with the square to neptune --- they don't always come out as you intended, or your receive information in be reading too much between the lines.
http://cafeastrology.com/natal/mercu...neaspects.html

I also agree with what's been said already, "The past does not Equal the future"

To research your chiron placement more try here
Chiron thread
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9786
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=286
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17165
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11976

Further discussions on AW and links from this thread….
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17165
http://www.moonsweb.com/ast/chiron.shtml
http://www.aquarianage.org/west/planets/ch-nat01.html
http://www.astrotherapy.eu/Chiron.htm
http://www.bobmarksastrologer.com/chiron21.5.html
http://www.aquamoonlight.co.uk/chiron.html

Your N Node in 2nd is prob worth researching to.
http://www.cafeastrology.com/nodesofthemoon.html
A tendency to avoid dealing with the details and practicalities of everyday life, to lead a rather haphazard and unorganized existence, to avoid formulating clear goals, and to put too much faith in a grand plan while neglecting practical concerns are some of the issues this position suggests. With this position, we need to work on developing some healthy and practical routines and schedules. Otherwise, we may be victim of vague worries and anxieties.

http://www.cafeastrology.com/article...deinvirgo.html
2nd house N Node. A tendency to define our own worth and values in terms of our significant others, to be wrapped up in the needs of others at the expense of our own needs, and to attract confusing and intense life situations at the expense of comfort and peace are some of the issues this position suggests. With this position, we need to discover our own values, to depend on ourselves and to establish our self-worth through our own efforts, and to enjoy life's more serene moments without the unconscious need to create crises.

http://www.cafeastrology.com/article...eintaurus.html

Perhaps you should read this thread entitled: astrology predicts meanings, not events
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17546&page=2
Etiquette and telling people their fate
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17248
10Do’s and Don’ts with astrology by Rahu
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17450

Astrology is not about sitting home on the couch eating nachos and waiting for the planets to make good things happen in your life. It is always your responsibility to work towards making your own dreams come true. Horoscopes simply help you to schedule your actions for the best possible outcome
http://www.tomorrowsedge.net/virgo-monthly-astrology-horoscope.html
What Astrology Can and Can Not Do
http://www.ofspirit.com/susanmiller1.htm

[Nexus7]

From your original post, it looks as though you perceive your Moon and Mars as being the source of all the problems in your chart, though in fact I would say there is more to it than just being angry, or still dealing with a dysfunctional family background. What is happening with the way you interract with people at the moment, and how could these actually, still be reinforcing the painful experiences that happened at home?

You may be aware of what can happen when you are angry, but Sun conjunct Venus opposing Saturn suggests to me that a lot of the time you may also be quite a bit of a people-pleaser, very hungry for approval and validation of yourself as an acceptable human being (the Sun is your chart ruler too!).

But....in the face of maybe giving more than you should, the anger of the Moon/Mars opposition is not going to go away, and when it does emerge - after maybe being bottled up so that your anger may seem more 'unjustified' - then you may feel guilty. However, there may still be times when you may let people treat you in ways that truly does deserve a little righteous anger!

In tis respect I do see the 'answer' as lying with your Mars, that is so close to your Midheaven - but not about being aggressive, which would involve humiliating and other people when being angry - but in being, possibly, more assertive, in holding your ground and checking to see what the actual situation may be.

The oppositions from Saturn to Venus and Sun may make it 'easy' for you to walk into situations where you may experience rejection all over again. Again, in that case, it might be easy to see either your Moon or Mars as the bete noire, or weakest link - but in a way, you may need to examine the way your Venus and Saturn - along with the Moon conjunct Neptune - help keep you caught up in situations where you do not get much validation and maybe, get taken advantage of, or just not treated very well.

There is not much Air in your chart (the 12th House Uranus may help there - are you attracted to Uranian types who may tend to challenge the way you see things, for example?), making it less easy to get a sense of where other people are coming on with their behaviour. It is possible that as a very Watery tyoe with a fire sign rising, that you may tend to assume that there is not need to explain yourself verbally what is going on with you, that others should be able to intuit things without your needing to tell them, or to communicate where any boundaries should be.

So then, your Mars, as a kind of an assertive negotiator, may actually provide a lot of the key to resolving the unfinished business that you may stil be processing, allowing you to find new ways to satisfy your emotional needs in the present.

[melisa]

Hi---
Thank you for your replies, they are very helpful.
R4VEN wrote:
"whenever anyone in your life says things to you which make you feel like your mother made you feel, then you'd take them on with all guns blazing. Mars opp Moon is a sure sign of a conflicted relationship with the mother, which then develops into an almost compulsive and dogged need to `right wrongs' which occur in your life...... It is important for you to maintain awareness that her abusive behaviour was never about you . I look at Chiron's placement when working with early life wounding. There won't be enough space here to go into it in any detail, but if what I write `speaks' to you, then I can go further into this for you..............
I notice that your Mercury is almost unaspected. It is only squaring Neptune, and forms no other major aspects. (It forms a quincunx with Chiron)"
My reply-----Yes you are right---when others say things that sound evven remotely like my mother's abandonment, criticism, or rejection of me, Ii fly into panic or rage mode, and re-experience the trauma, then viewing that person as my mother. Then I take out my feelings on them, verbally. Yes, I'd love to learn more about Chiron. I wonder if, as you wrote, my Pluto oppose Chiron and my Merc. quincunx Chiron, I could also focus on healing through expression (Merc) of deep emotions (Pluto) re: the past.

ASTROLOGER 50 wrote: "Mercury retrograde in 12th shows you were not allowed to communicate properly and thoughts have to 'go in' first and by analysed before they come out and when they come out with the square to neptune --- they don't always come out as you intended, or your receive information in be reading too much between the lines."

---My reply: Yes, definitely. My mother shut me down and criticized me for speaking, so I avoided her and assumed others wouldn't want to hear me either.....Yes, my thoughts don't come out as I intended---they are often too passive or aggressive

NEXUS 7 wrote: "What is happening with the way you interract with people at the moment, and how could these actually, still be reinforcing the painful experiences that happened at home?....
But in the face of maybe giving more than you should, the anger of the Moon/Mars opposition is not going to go away, and when it does emerge - after maybe being bottled up so that your anger may seem more 'unjustified' - then you may feel guilty.

The oppositions from Saturn to Venus and Sun may make it 'easy' for you to walk into situations where you may experience rejection all over again........

There is not much Air in your chart (the 12th House Uranus may help there - are you attracted to Uranian types who may tend to challenge the way you see things, for example?), making it less easy to get a sense of where other people are coming on with their behaviour. "

---My reply: Yes, that is a good analysis. You asked what is happening with the way I communicate at the moment that reinforces the painful experiences form home----I tend to not speak up about needs or resentments out of fear of the other person's anger (like my mother's anger). Then I misperceive an even neutral comment of theirs as a rejection of me, or a temporary absence as an abandonment of me. Then I feel hurt, confused and angry, and blame them! Then I feel guilty, as you noted.
Yes, you are right--my Saturn oppose my Sun and Venus leads me to interact with others who are rejecting or "unavailable" like my mother was. They feel familiar (but damaging) to me.
As you wrote, I have no air in my chart, "making it less easy to get a sense of where people are coming on with their behavior"---yes I often misread what they do or say as direct attacks or plans to abandon me. Then I obsessively ask them if that's what is going on, and I find it hard to be reassured. So trust is hard for me, and aggravating for the other person.
I will focus on the yoga and meditation suggested. I hope that maybe my Aquarius 7th opposed my Uranus can make me a bit more objective re: relationships, and Sun conjunct Venus can help me build self-love. Pluto rising can hopefully be a tool for self-transformation, to help me resolve, rather than constantly re-live the traumas my mother inflicted.

Thank you

Melisa

[astrologer50]

I hope that maybe my Aquarius 7th opposed my Uranus can make me a bit more objective re: relationships, and Sun conjunct Venus can help me build self-love. Pluto rising can hopefully be a tool for self-transformation, to help me resolve, rather than constantly re-live the traumas my mother inflicted.

I have sun conj venus and it does give that 'inner cheerfulness' Pluto rising I call the plutonic lid, there is always something you hold back, aloof, distant, secretative.

Uranus on 7th is like having uranus there, a need for freedom and independence either you may attract partners like this or you could behave like this, by that I mean leave before the other person. What uranus wants is excitement, nothing routine, run of the mill. Inventive interactions that stimulate, excite and arouse..... bring it on

[R4VEN]

Originally Posted by melisa

Yes, I'd love to learn more about Chiron. I wonder if, as you wrote, my Pluto oppose Chiron and my Merc. quincunx Chiron, I could also focus on healing through expression (Merc) of deep emotions (Pluto) re: the past.

melisa, the sentence above which I have quoted indicates to me that you already have a pretty good understanding of how it is Chiron works. In my experience, the best way to learn about Chiron is to do the work, which you are now preparing to do by your willingness to deal with this issue.

Your Mercury quincunx Chiron placement is a bit complex, but I'll try to give you some idea of how it can work for you. Again, what you said in the above part of the quote indicates to me that you already know!

Chiron in opposition to Pluto describes a deep sense of disempowerment, even going so far as to call this a death of the self - in particular in the early-life home, as Pluto rules the 4th house - and so the key to healing is through this placement, as well as the Mercury placement, and also Chiron's trine to Neptune. The latter would affect you by rendering you somewhat `on the outer' in your life, so much so that you may put yourself outside of where you want to be, because you perceive that you'll eventually be excluded anyway. The key to healing your wounds will be in getting your power back, which sounds easy, but you first have to discover what your `power' is. You have been trying to do this in your interactions with others, but that is the outcome, not the source of this issue. The source - as always - is deep within you.

One of your steps in the journey will be in developing a sense that you have the right to speak, to be heard, to have your way and your say - but not in any way to disempower another. The combination of those 3 main Chiron aspects from your natal chart is indicative of an ability to delve beneath the surface issues to examine and name what is underneath it all, and what belief systems, what decisions you made in childhood still operate in your life, and which currently prop up the whole messy structure.

One of the activities I found very useful in my early days of working through my mother issues (and I had to wait until she was dead before I could even contemplate doing this - guilt about how bad her life had been, I guess...) was journaling. If you enjoy the physical process of writing - I chose to write by hand in special books I bought from a newsagency - then I would suggest that you begin by writing your thoughts and feelings down, just as a way of validating them. This is not for anyone else but you. It can be your conversation with yourself. You may be surprised by what comes out, especially first thing in the morning. Write down your dreams, particularly those which stay with you. The purpose of this is to find out what thoughts, beliefs and feelings are running your life, and by so doing you can then begin to change them. You may already have done this while in counselling, but to direct this process yourself may help you to get your power back, as well as to help you to move on.

Others on this board will talk about the power of forgiveness, and that is also true. But as I have experienced this, the first step in the process of forgiveness is to work at forgiving yourself, because abused people invariably continue to abuse themselves long after the original abuser has gone, or even died. Once you can let go of the habit of abuse, the belief that you deserved the abuse, then you are 99% of the way there.

[R4VEN]

I have had a look at the transits to your natal chart, and feel I have to add to my above post - and I have no wish to complicate the issue any further, but felt there is a significant transit which is pushing you to look at this issue more closely.

Transiting Pluto - currently 0-1 degr - is forming a temporary Yod with your natal Chiron at almost 2 degr , and your natal Mercury at just over 0 degr . This temporary situation will be in place on and off until later in 2010, but has been operating early in 2008, and then since around Dec`08. The energy of this Yod is like being shut in a room with no books or toys and told that in order to be let out you first have to figure out a complex mathematical problem.

A Yod is a stress formation, but if you follow the path it presents to you and never compromise your values and ethics, then I feel that you have the potential to `unlock' a lot of what seems to be operating in your life in a kind of compulsive way. It leads you to `the road less travelled', and I will warn you that during your journey of healing and discovery you may feel isolated, like you are at a stand-still, or even that you want to step off your path and take the easy way out.

I feel that the energy in your life currently is perhaps perfect for you to be entering upon this healing journey, and at depth - Pluto is a strong presence currently, and depth-work is required. You may be surprised by how quickly you are able to achieve whaat you set out to do - but it will not be easy.

PS: And normally the planetoid Chiron does not qualify as being able to participate in a Yod, but given your history of abuse, I think an exception can be made.

[melisa]

Hi---
Thank you for your feedback, it's very helpful. Yes, I can feel t he inflluence of the Yod (my Mercury and Chiron, with current transit of Pluto in Capricorn). I have been taking out books on codependence and relationship issues, and focusing on feeling the pain of my mother's abuse earlier on. It's hard work but as they say "no pain no gain".
I am also working on trying to separate the past "negative messages" I constantly received form my mother about how terrible I was, from the neutral or even positive comments people make to me today. For example, when my "love interest" said h e is not currently that available because of family obligations, I immediately wonder what I didi wrong, and ask him if he plans to be unfaitful or leave me. He tells and shows me otherwise, yet I have nagging self-doubts and feel pessimistic, It's not really about him (since this is my pattern no matter who I am with). I need to get past this, as it plagues me and my relations. So I am trying to keep in mind that my upset fears and pessimism are "drilled into me" form my mother, and Ineed to accept that they damaged me, and then release them. Otherwise with my Mercury in 12th square Neptune, I distort comments into attacks against me, and then I feel hurt and angry.
I was hoping that my Jupiter closely trining my ascendant can help my attitude become more positive, but perhaps that is not directly related to my mind and emotions. Perhaps (in addition to my Pluto oppose Chiron, Moon oppose Mars, and other planetary positioins noted in posts above) my nearly exact Vertex-Saturn conjunction (and Vertex-Venus opposition) can be of some help. Maybe Venus opposing it (making my relations more affectionate harmonious and loving) and Saturn conjuncting it (making relations an avenue for lessons and facing reality) could help me. ANd my exact Sun=Moon trine could help bring some warmth and positive effectts into my emotions re: my mother.

THank you
Melisa

[melisa]

Hi---Ii have been applying the suggestions given, to help heal my trauma re: abusive mother. Forever I have been misinterpreting criticisms as total rejections, and distorting a temporary absence by a loved one as an eternal abandonment of me. At times I really have been rejected and abandoned, but mostly it is my transference of my abusive childhood onto the present. I then feel angry and hurt which leads to me being compulsive or verbally abusive myself in relations! I am so tired of all this!
The comment on using the current Pluto transit forming a Yod with my natal Chiron and Mercury as a time for healing my mentality and communicatin really inspires me! I am taking this time to feel and hopefully release the negativity my mother inflicted on me. THough she is gone now, I do not want to let her iinflicted wounds ruin antoehr relationship for me.
ALong with the Yod (which I can feel in the areas of self-analysis of my emotions and healing my thoughts---Pluto, Merc, and Chiron), I see that transiting Saturn is now joining in----sextiling my natal Mercury and inconjunct my natal Chiron. I hope that this means I will be helped inn learning the lessons of "retraining my mind" (Saturn-Merc) and ealing my wounds of the past (Saturn-Chiron).
I have been feeling intense feelings of anxiety and sadness over the ways my mother hurt me, and how it has affected my relations. This is healthy though as I need to clear the way for a ore rational future for my relationships. I have (along with the yoga and meditatin suggested above) been looking closelly at the close parallels between my unhealthy mother and the present (he doesn't call me = I recall my mother abruprtly being avoidant or verbally abusive). Yesterday I started writing about the sibling rivalries I have with my siblings---they were also abused by her. I always had to hsare her with them, so not only didin't I get much attention but the attention I got was mostly bad. I feel angry and confused over this, yet I konw it's part of healing. Today I will write a letter to my late mother, pouring out the feelings.
So your insights and suggestions are really transforming me, in emotional and practical ways. Thank you!

Bye
Melisa

[R4VEN]

melisa, thank you for letting us know how you are progressing with your journey through this. I am happy that you are finding some clarity, because that is a necessary first step.

I also checked your chart again, and along with all the other temporary Yods, etc, you also currently have progressed Moon and Pluto closely conjunct in your first house, both in Virgo - another indication that the time is right for healing issues of abuse!! This conjunction will also heighten and deepen all your emotional responses, so you are likely to be feeling very emotional - angry, I would suspect. At around the time of last Christmas you had progressed Moon in Leo cross your ascendant, so you may have felt the urgency for change in your emotions at that time. It appears that you have a lot of invisible hands at your back guiding you through this.

It will be important to keep in mind that nothing that happened to you was about you - just as you have accepted that your partner(s) are not the problem. It takes a while to actually `get' that you were in a way used so that your mother could act out whatever was bothering her. This was not actually personal. She may have projected what was truly bothering her on to you, and so in this way another generation of kids was poisoned. Your progressed Asc moved into Libra some time between turning 46 and 47, so you now have heightened ability to understand the motives of `the other' - whether this be your mother, or your partner - so ultimately you are able to take responsibility for only that which is yours, and originates within you..

[lillyjgc]

R4VEN,
I just want to compliment you on your above excellent and very detailed posts, with which I fully agree.
The Forum's lucky to have you.
Cheers
Lillyjgc

[Claire19]

Originally Posted by aquarius7000

Melissa,

Firstly, I'd like to underline Tim's (wilsontc) advice of forgiving and letting go of the past. The past is just that.. the past, and shouldn't be allowed to mar your 'present'. I know this is easier said than done, but you have to do this for yourself, especially so the negativity doesn't build up any further, and so that such energies do not get 'stuck' within you (Sat-Mars and Sat-Moon plus an intense/ obssessive Sco Moon that doesn't forget easily..) and harm you further. Energy needs to move and flow, and, if you do not let that (negative) energy 'flow out' of your system, there is a good risk of it taking some other shape.... anger towards others/yourself, or even some health malady (with Mars involved.. often ulcers or even physical accidents, or skin ailments..Mars-Sat aspects). Work on that already bottled-up energy by doing some sports or meditational yoga.. excellent to instill some harmony within your being.

To astrologically answer your question briefly, the Moon-Mars (anger, even physical violence) opposition, esp with the Moon being in Scorpio (control and power play) is very telling. Though I usually don't look at asteroids much (except for Chiron), the closeness between Chiron (wounded healing) and Ceres (nurturing and being nurtured) did jump out at me. So those are some astro pointers, but really try to gradually rise above it all, and live your present as a real 'present'. Your exact Sun-Moon and close Sun-Ven trines are all for it, so work with them, but you have to teach your Scorpion Moon to release the negative energy and to forget. That will also help fortify your personal value-system (N-Node in the 2nd house of personal values).


Best,
AQ7

I dont believe in Ceres and certainly not for nurturance per se. Harvest and grain yes and use for that in food.

Having Saturn in good aspect to Moon points to the fact you can overcome past emotional issues and grow stronger with that. I feel there are often karmic debts that we are paying. I am not making any judgements here.

[astro09]

I agree with what wilsontc expresses. It is better and more important to follow the path of healing...