Why do i have a low self esteem and low confidence??

[catiimregistration]

Well, I'm a 23 yr old male and was born on 18.3.1986, 8.06pm , in mumbai, india. For the past 1 year i've started to feel very depressed and i have lost my self confidence. I'm afraid to start a relationships also. I'm not able o get a girlfriend. What could be the reason?? Will i have a stable relationship in future? pls help.thnx in advance

[Thread moved to Greenhorns. All threads without a personal interpretation are moved to this board. Moderator.]

[starlink]

Catiimregistration, could you please put up your birthchart following this link? Thank you.

Sticky: Attaching Chart as a Thumbnail! ( 1 2)

Starlink

[Joseph Ledzion]

Well actually, I much prefer to use the data and run it through my own program.

You have Libra Rising, and are a nocturnal birth. The lords of the triplicity of the Moon are Mercury and Saturn. Mercury and Saturn are in cadent houses, which means they are very weak. Mercury is particularly bashed.

The Moon is like a wind, and the triplicity lords are like sails which catch the wind. Since you are not able to catch the wind, your ship does not have strength to sail, and this become what is termed "a depressed nativity." There is no change in this condition throughout life.

When the rulers of the triplicity of the proper sect light (moon for a night birth, sun for a day birth) are found in angular (whole sign) houses, then the wind is fully caught by the sails, and the nativity is made into what is called a "high ranking nativity" because it has power to go.

However, the ruler of the Lot of Fortune, which is the Moon, is increasing in light which is useful. However, the ruler is Mercury in wretched condition and this is representative of your state of mind. In this sixth house, it does not fair well at all, my friend. (seek professional help)

Plus, in relationships, you tend to be rebellious, and the Mars - Sun square means that the native is overcome with anger and this anger will cause him to lose his mind. This is not my interpretation, it is straight out of Valens.

Someone else will tell you the good things about your chart. I am sort of the devil's advocate, you see. You asked.

Joseph

[gemini59]

Ouch...harsh ....

[astrologer50]

However, the ruler is Mercury in wretched condition and this is representative of your state of mind. In this sixth house, it does not fair well at all, my friend. (seek professional help)

Plus, in relationships, you tend to be rebellious, and the Mars - Sun square means that the native is overcome with anger and this anger will cause him to lose his mind. This is not my interpretation, it is straight out of Valens.

Yeh--- tell it like it is why don't you. You prob frightened this newbie half to death with tactless statements like this

Pls post your chart and we will give your the nicer more balance viewpoints

[R4VEN]

Originally Posted by retromerc-n-sat

This is my first time here so please be patient with me. I have been trying to study astrology here lately. I guess I've always known I should be a part of it most of my life as I had word scorpio placed on a purple tee shirt when I was 11 years old for no apparent reason. Anyway, I have just about had it. I have Mercury and Saturn retrograde in my chart and it has all but ruined my life. I am trying to figure out this progression thing. According to my calculations and all the strange planetary positions coming up perhaps my retro sat will go direct. I was born oct 27, 1967 @ approximately 8:20am in Saint Joseph, Michigan (26) USA. Will I ever be free? Other than the Merc and Sat retros in Scorpio and Aries, It looks to me as if my chart rocks, it's just these to headaches killed the party. I too suffer from low self esteem and low confidence and out of touch with reality somewhat. Also, very emotional but trying to work it out. It's hard though.
~cazz in Greensboro nc

Mate, you need to begin a separate thread about your own chart and your situation.

This thread has been begun by catiimregistration, and so is about him.

[retromerc-n-sat]

Okay, let me figure that out. I hope I was not rude.

[gemini59]

No problemo, welcome to the site.
To make a post on your own go to the bottom of this screen. Pick a subject such as natal chart or transits etc. Open it and then you will see a square with "NEW THREAD" and you click on that to start your own. If you are a GREENHORN that is you can not give much in the way of your own interpretation you would want to post a thread under that area. If you can give some of your own and have a specific questions about your chart then you would post under the subject.
Hope this helps.

[retromerc-n-sat]

Thanks, my birth name is cassandra too. how cool.

[R4VEN]

catiimregistration, I would say that you have - in the first instance at least - at least a couple of things temporarily upsetting your own apple cart.

Firstly, your chart appears to be dominated by an intense T-square, formed by Moon opp a conj of Mars and Uranus, and all 3 planets form a square to your Sun-Merc conjunction in Pisces in the 6th. The energy of this is quite intense - and as Joseph says, can indicate deep-seated rebellion, or at the very least, mood swings, or anger outburts - all of which I suspect you tend to suppress, or hold in, and this is not very healthy for you.

Your 7th house of relationships is ruled by natal Mars in Sagittarius in the 3rd (and Mars is conj Uranus, opposition Moon) and so you will have a tendency to change your relationships quite suddenly, and even though you may not consciously want to do this, you have a deep-seated unconscious desire for freedom within your relationships. I suspect your feelings of low self-esteem come from this unconscious inner struggle - for love vs. freedom.

You have progr Mars currently conjunct your natal Neptune, and this may be stirring things up for you, and causing you to feel uncomfortable inside yourself. You see, Neptune rules your 6th house of body/health, and perhaps progr Mars is helping you to feel some things which you are holding deep inside yourself.

Transiting Pluto is also moving in to conj your natal Neptune - in Capricorn in the 3rd - and so you are perhaps experiencing also some preliminary doubts and fears aabout your life in relation to this.

[aquarius7000]

Hi and welcome aboard, Retromerc.

I have moved your post as a new, individual thread: My chart, so this thread indeed can remain focused on Catiimregistration's subject. Should there be any queries, etc about anything, please 'private message' me.


AQ7

[starlink]

Well actually, I much prefer to use the data and run it through my own program.

I also usually run it on my own computer Joseph, but only if I cannot read the chart easily. Some programms have very unclear images. It is more for learning purposes and for everyone to look at that it would be easier if she uploaded a chart.

[starlink]

Someone else will tell you the good things about your chart. I am sort of the devil's advocate, you see. You asked.
Joseph

Yes Joseph, indeed you are quite the devils advocate and it is OK telling someone what you see, even if it is negative, but "its the tone that makes the music" as the French say and you could have brought it in a milder, more compasionate, form.

An astrologers task is helping the client,not despairing the client and even with a very difficult chart, we should still help any client, not only telling them about the negative things in their chart, but maybe how they could cope with that? Showing what talent they have and could develop. I believe we ALL have something to offer and contribute to this life and just putting it like:

There is no change in this condition throughout life.

is indeed quite blunt, to say the least. If you say that this person will always have the same condition throughout this life, than surely, asking for professional help wont help does it now?. According to you it will all stay the same, whatever he does or doesn't. I dont buy this, sorry Joseph.

It is known that traditional astrology is often very cruel in its predictions (mars in 5, your child will die, Algol conjunct Sun, you will get your head cut off) and things like that, but thank God we have nowadays learned there is more to all this.

Hope you understand where I'm coming from.

Starlink

[blacksun?]

I agree (but who am I?) that it is not of any help to sadistically formulate weak points in someones chart. I guess a torturer could also use the excuse - well, I'm just working my knife skills here, don't blame me, blame the knife' -
Astrology can be used for good and for bad. Don't fool yourself thinking that just because you have the skills to formulate an insight you're justified in trampling on someone who's already down.

catiimregistration, you do have a hard chart, which means that you will have to put energy into your psychological makeup. You have Pluto in the first house, meaning you have an innate power to transform, trining Jupiter in the fifth in Pisces, meaning you do have the power at your disposal to grow and develop at your own command. But you'll have to pick yourself up, do not trust your own insecurity, it comes largely from your Moon opposition Mars/Uranus - this Mars Uranus gives you a lot of power, really, but your impulse is to reject and misunderstand this power. Much of your self worth would lie in hidden reservoires. Try doing a martial art, a serious one, prana-based, or go into shamanism, or kryia- or kundalini yoga. You'll be able to grow in strength and confidence. But maybe it's dance, or another form of expressing and transforming energy. Anyway you need to activate the energies you might not be aware of having.

Since you have a T square from the 3rd to the 7th to the 9th house, this release might be in communication. Music might be something you can release into.

[starlink]

I decided to upload the chart. Here it is:

[blacksun?]

Very strong Chiron, part of fortune on midheaven -

Venus trine or sextile Chiron
You have a natural affinity for and understanding of the mind/body connection, non-traditional healing arts and non-ordinary spiritual experiences. You might be regarded as a maverick because you accept no dogmas, but pursue truth in your own way. You are adept at expressing these concepts in artistic and aesthetic ways, making them more palatable and accessible to others. You discover many keys through your own healing journey, which you effectively express for the benefit of all.

It does seem there is a healing journey involved, given that both Chiron and Pluto are contacting the ascendant.

MC/Fortune is also close to the Black Sun and widely trining Sun/Mercury.
I don't now. There's power there in the rough.

[starlink]

and this anger will cause him to lose his mind

I had a look at this the modern way. Jupiter rules this 3rd house of the mind and Jupiter is placed in Pisces, in traditional astrology dignified as he rules this sign. Jupiter is also I believe, the final dispositor of this chart, also traditionally seen. This dispositor is not badly off ,because he trines a very strong Pluto in angular house. Jupiter also sextiles Neptune.

Now these two planets dont play a role in traditional astrology I know, which, if you take them away, makes Jupiter unaspected. In other words, no other planet can influence the dignity of this dispositor.

Looking at it the modern way, then his mind is strong and he will not loose it. What could happen and maybe this is mentioned here by Valens, is that he can have strong fits of anger, loosing it a bit at times. Not really having control over what he says to others.

Moon in the house of the higher mind opposes Uranus/Mars conjunction in the 3rd. There is very strong mental tension here, but I believe that the trine from Venus (Asc.ruler) to Saturn will discipline him enough not to completely give in to his anger. Also, the opposition occurs in cadent houses, not angular, which makes it less aggressive.

A retrograde Mercury usually shows a pensative person, a lot of thinking going on inside and in Pisces, an intuitive person which the square to Uranus also shows. Mercury as ruler of the 9th and the 12th do show higher mind activity and a connection to the subconscious. With Mercury and Sun in the 6th, and Mercury ruler of Chiron, he could become a healer, chiropractor for instance, or some other healing profession.

The T-square, like any square, can be used negatively as well as positively and usually shows strong energy. He could use this energy positively to heal others
Now, was it not you Joseph, who once told me that the final dispositor of a chart rules the life of the individual? Jupiter falls in a creative house and he also rules over the houseruler Saturn (traditionally) and Uranus (modernly). They behold each other? is that the term used? Not quite sure. Anyways, I do see something quite positive in all this.

I think that Catim is a very philosofical individual who can make use of his intuitive qualities and who can be probably good at writing with that Moon in Gemini in 9 and ruled by a retrograde Mercury in inspirational Pisces. Neptune in Capricorn will direct these energies in a constructive way.

Relationships is indeed a problem area as there is the tendency not to be too keen on close relationships (Uranus/Mars conjunction) and both squarîng the Sun. It can also be the fact that he looks for a wealthy partner, because his family expects that from him. Venus rules his 8th house (support from partner) and trines Saturn in his 2nd (of money). Saturn rules his house of family. Girls like that are not easy to find and I think in India it also depends a lot on the families involved.

Saturn trining the 7th house cusp and Venus could maybe indicate a late marriage.

Jupiter also rules Juno, who has to do with marriage and Juno trines Venus.

So there is certainly a chance for a relationship here, notwithstanding that Venus is in fall here. But being in fall does not mean that the planet itself is weak, it just shows the planet cannot really express it's energies, the way it should. The trine to Saturn makes it also a bit more difficult to express the love feelings.

We also see the North Node in the 7th house, which seems to me a fortunate placement for the Node, even though its ruler is also the same Venus.

The very elevated Part of Fortune is well placed, but indeed ruled by the Moon who herself is heavily afflicted. A lot depends on how Catim handles his emotions/feelings which are indeed shown to have been hurt quite badly through circumstances. I dont know if aspects to Ascendant are taken into consideration. But aspects from the POF probably do have an effect and this one trines Mercury.

[starlink]

Catimregistration, I hope you have not run away

You asked:

i've started to feel very depressed and i have lost my self confidence. I'm afraid to start a relationships also. I'm not able o get a girlfriend. What could be the reason?? Will i have a stable relationship in future?

The depressed feelings could have been caused by transiting Saturn opposing your Sun and Mercury and when SAturn conjuncts your Ascendant it could also slow you down physically as well as slowing down relationship situations. But this is all temporarily as Saturn moves on into your first house.

Your selfconfidence is seen from the 2nd house (selfworth) and ruled by Pluto, strong in Scorpio and in your 1st house trine Jupiter. So basically there is nothing wrong with that, again, you are going through a big inner change at the moment with Uranus transiting conjunct your Mercury and Sun and the aspect from Sun to Uranus in your natal chart is being repeated in a way.
Same energies are re-inforced. You dont want to be tied to a relationship yet I think. You are still very young dont forget and should not be feeling pushed into something you are not ready for yet.

Neptune is trining your Moon at the moment and even though this could give very dreamy romantic ideas, it can also confuse you. Neptune always gives some sort of confusion one way or another, so dont worry about that either. It can be very well used for meditation and making music. Your creativity should be hightened during this period.

I am sure you can have a stable relationship in the future, seen by that Venus-Saturn trine, it just wont be tomorrow. But you probably will have to go through some trial and error times first! Who doesnt!!

Starlink

[astrologer50]

Amongst other things, astrology is a wonderful tool for understanding yourself and others better.....enabling us to make better choices in life as we become aware of how our behaviour influences what happens to us through the law of cause and effect. Astrology does not reliably predict the future.......But it can provide an excellent insight into the psychological make-up of people, enabling us to accurately predict their behaviour and it's resultant effects

Saturn is the Lord of Karma and master teacher, but really he's trying to teach us about ourselves. It wants us to be responsible, hard working, dutiful and learn our Lessons properly, so they won't have to keep being repeated. Therefore, is usually suggests things slowing down, delays, limitations and restrictions so we can learn these Lessons.

What Saturn does is 'test' what is of value to you and what is working in your life. It wants structure and hard work. If something isn't working--- it may well end--- so something better can be put in it's place.


Now T Saturn has opposed your Sun next it will oppose your venus. Pls understand we ALL have T Saturn 'testing' our lives/charts, along with all the outer planets. But this is how we all grow in this life through challenge, tests & exams. Astrology will help you understand the 'why' and how long these 'exams' will last

Next Year T Pluto will conj your neptune, this is just a generational thing, whereby your religious and spiritual beliefs may be transformed through investigations, research etc.

You moon although 'challenged' and ruling MC does suggest you may at some point live abroad/emigrate for work and career matters and you may well find that. This could well happen when T Uranus conj your natal sun in 6th house.