Free Pet Horoscopes

Astrology Humour

Which pet would go best with each sign?

Aries: Anything, as long as it's got a lot of energy!

Taurus: A turtle: itıs slow-moving, doesnıt need a lot of attention, and wonıt compete with its owner for food.

Gemini: A talking parrot; need I say more? Well, of course I do, but--

Cancer: Anything, as long as it needs to be nurtured.

Leo: A big, bold, ferocious feline, as long as it doesnıt compete with its ownerıs place in the sun.

Virgo: Letıs see, I have to get up at 7:30 to feed it, let it out at 7:45, at 10:00 I need to go to the grocery store to pick up three cans of food, which will cost $3.86, including tax--

Libra: Hm, good question. One the one hand, a dog is active, affectionate, and companionable. On the other hand, a cat is pretty independent and wonıt require as much time and attention. Oh, I donıt know. What would you do? Are you sure?

Scorpio: A cat. Secretive, mysterious, and unpredictable. Whatıs not to like?

Sagittarius: A horse, of course! Letıs hope itıs got enough stamina to keep up with me.

Capricorn: Do I have to pay for it?

Aquarius: A hamster. First, Iıve got to set up a detailed cage with tubes going from here to here, and an energy sensor--they donıt make anything like that? Thatıs okay, Iım sure what I come up with will be much better.

Pisces : Fish. When their owner forgets about them for weeks on end, theyıre easy to replace. If Pisces remembers to replace them...

All astrology humour pages:

 

• Traffic signs
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• Funny horoscopes
• After sex comments
• How to change a lightbulb
• Near death experiences
• Free pet horoscopes
• Prayers and zodiacal signs
• Mercury direct
• Pissing on the Sun

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