attachment, to Venus
Venus,
You asked:
...I'm not sure if I was brought into this world to be an outlet for others pain and anger and hurt. I have often wondered...perhaps that's why my energy came into being...I am whatever my surroundings are, whoever I am with...
When we are children, we experience our energies directly, since we have little or no ability to control the flow of our energies or use them. And so, if we have challenging energies in us, this can tend to draw challenging circumstances to us. In your chart you have Libra (relationships) modifying Uranus (friends, also rebellion) conjunct (energy is combined with) Virgo (daily work) modifying South node (the past) conjunct Jupiter (expansion) conjunct Pluto (transformation, also sex, control) focused in the 12th house (spirituality, also deception, confusion) square (energy needs to be combined with) Mars (being, also action, anger) focused in the 2nd house (physical). The result was a daily past filled with angry, expansive, rebellious, sexual deception from those around you.
Being a Buddhist, you understand "attachment"...well, with all that energy attached to your South node, you are "attached" to your past: you tend to think that everything that happened as a child defines who you are as an adult. The challenge is to let GO of the child memories...and live life as an adult. While you COULDN'T do anything about your life as a child you CAN do things about your life as an adult. But not by being a doormat to others. While your South node is focused in confusion (12th house), your North node (future goals) is focused in the 6th house (daily work). Working at things, putting one foot in front of the other, doing things because they serve others in their best interests by helping them being wiser, better, nicer, etc. Being a doormat doesn't help you do your routines...it just enables people to indulge in their evil side.
"When I was a child, I thought as a child. Now that I am an adult, I have put away childish things." These are spiritual words to LIVE by. And, it is possible that all this is nothing new...you have made your peace with your past, decided not to be a doormat to others, and are a strong, confident person. If not, just remembert that Venus (relationships) in Aries (being, also action) is the sign of the CONQUEROR in relationships...be sure to USE your energy for YOU...don't give it away to others.
That is the biggest challenge with strong power in our charts...it can seem so challenging to us that we get in the habit of giving away our power to others, instead of learning how to use it ourselves. You have GREAT power in you, which, now you are an adult, you can use to help build the future you deserve.
Powerfully,
Tim