Chart configurations / Hermit archetype and seclusion

jemjemjem · Oct 28, 2024

I have questions about the configurations in my chart, which I can’t seem to find information about online. I would really appreciate your help, as this ties to some deeper, unresolved topics within me.

I often feel like the hermit archetype. I want to find my place in this world, but as a hermit, all I can do is walk, walk, walk, not knowing where it will end. Often, it feels like it’s going nowhere, because seclusion never ends.

1. Moon in 12th House in Cancer as the Funnel:

• I have a bucket chart, with the Moon in Cancer in the 12th house as the funnel. On the opposite side, I have an Aquarius stellium in the 7th house, with Venus, Neptune, and Uranus. Should I focus more on the spiritual side (12th house) or the social side (7th house) to feel like I’m on the right path? It feels like I’m torn between seclusion and being with people, connecting and socializing. How do I find balance?

2. Venus, Neptune, and Ascendant Oppositions:

• My Venus and Neptune oppose my Ascendant. What do these oppositions mean for my personal development and self-expression? How can I align what I seek internally with how I present myself externally?

3. Moon-Square-Saturn:

• I have a Moon-Saturn square, and I’ve heard it means I’ll experience major transformation after my Saturn return, unlocking blocked energies. What can I expect from this aspect, both now and after my Saturn return?

4. Saturn in the 9th House Conjunct Midheaven in Aries:

• My Saturn is in the 9th house, conjunct my Midheaven, along with Mars, Mercury, and the North Node, all in Aries. How does this shape my career, public presence, and pursuit of purpose?

5. South Node in Pisces (8th House), North Node in Virgo (2nd House, MC also in Aries):

• My South Node is in Pisces (8th house), and my North Node is in Virgo (2nd house), with my MC also in Aries. Does this mean I should focus less on spirituality and more on the material world? How can I do that with little earth in my chart? I’ve heard that having the Moon as a singleton suggests a spiritual path. Is there a contradiction here?

6. Existential Struggles and Music Career:

• I feel accomplished with my music, but I don’t feel like I’ve earned my place yet. I value inner achievements, but I still feel like I’m drifting. This is especially true on Sundays when others relax—I can’t because I haven’t found my place in society yet. It’s frustrating, and it drives me to work harder, which creates a paradox. How does this internal conflict appear in my chart?

7. Configurations in My Chart:

• I want to understand the bucket with the Moon as the funnel, the kite pattern, and the grand fire trine. How do these configurations work together, and what do they reveal about my spiritual path, personal growth, and overall direction?

I would really appreciate your insights and guidance on these questions.

Peakachoo79ta · Oct 28, 2024

You Saturn conjunct the MC (Mid-heaven) insinuates that your career may not bloom until after 30, or even later. But, I have also heard that Saturn conjunct Mid-heaven can be lucky in government jobs, and jobs related to government.

As for your hermeticism, it sounds like your North Node in Virgo may want to bring you OUT of hermeticism. But there's a part of you that will always need, at least, some time, to yourself, and that's your Moon in the 12th house.

I doubt, that this lifetime, you will completely shed your hermeticism, but you might balance being a hermit, as being in the world.

Outlook · Oct 29, 2024

that would be the pluto sq sun jupiter.

such massive overblown need to control every aspect, every second of every day … to allow nothing to happen that you dont want in any shape or form…means you cut yourself off entirely from everything. if you cant make it happen the way you want it to…you dont want it. that way you can control your life.

pluto is trine mercury mars… literally walk, walk, walk.

you need professional help. talk, talk, talk

I would investigate if there is high functioning autism or Aspergers involved just simply because you seek the repetitive walk, walk, walk.

jemjemjem · Oct 29, 2024

Outlook said:
that would be the pluto sq sun jupiter.

such massive overblown need to control every aspect, every second of every day … to allow nothing to happen that you dont want in any shape or form…means you cut yourself off entirely from everything. if you cant make it happen the way you want it to…you dont want it. that way you can control your life.

pluto is trine mercury mars… literally walk, walk, walk.

you need professional help. talk, talk, talk

I would investigate if there is high functioning autism or Aspergers involved just simply because you seek the repetitive walk, walk, walk.

I’m not officially diagnosed, but pretty sure I have some form of autism. Couple of friends who has Asperger’s also mentioned that they find me relatable and feel a connection with me. I read about Pluto square Sun and Jupiter online, and while it’s not considered an easy aspect, it brings depth, which resonates with me.I always have a desire to dig deeper, no matter the situation. I aim to share that insight through my music.

I’m curious what can you say about my kite like shape and the Cancer Moon at the funnel point. I seriously couldn’t been able to find much information about funnels online. Also have a Grand Fire Trine, which I’ve read can be beneficial for society, but right now, my reality feels distant, and I often feel purposeless. I fear being stuck in my Neptune cycle, drowning in the potentials of what I could be if only I were noticed.

Outlook · Oct 30, 2024

Humans tend to ignore what comes easy and turn their full attention and interest to difficulties. Its wired in us. because difficult aspects create difficult events that camt be ignored and need attention. feeling overwhelmed or threatened will always trump feeling energised! and using all that righteous willful energy towards the threat feels a whole lot more useful than anything else.

a grand fire trine from technical points doesnt work. Because Asc and MC are both technical points it has no life of its own. it cannot shed any energy. so for example the mars gives energy to it but it cant receive energy back.

so you dont have a grand fire trine. the asc point is just an inert technical point thats good for expressing but its a one way…out only. the needed leg cannot feed energy into the structure, acting as support.

the moon is also under square to saturn…meaning restriction and responsibility. its weighed under heavily. and its inconjunct to pluto for control.

you do have a mini triangle that gives you originality, vitality, unique vision amd unique creativity and strength and depth of expression.

but that need to control everything, means you cut yourself off amd so are alone. you need to learn to get along, compromise to belong and to live amongst people. you need to agree to share yourself. we create relationships, community and a sense of identity by reflecting ourselves through others that we allow to be around us….our friends.

but if you were aspergers it would explain why that ability to compromise to get along, is bust. it can be fixed though with learned skills from ongoing long term professional therapy.

i think the way forward is by getting professional help to learn how to love amongst people and break down your need for control to let others in and live amongst people.

Frisiangal · Oct 30, 2024

Hi,
I am wondering why you feel like a hermit.

I study a calculated astrological point in the chart called MEAN Black Moon Lilith. It has often been observed to suggest a natural part of one's nature that has difficulty finding expression in the outer world. The sign it is in at birth is often an indication of why.

From planetary positions in the natal chart, the birth date would put you in mid-20's. At the time MEAN Black Moon Lilith was transiting approx. 10 degrees Libra in the 3rd house. Both Libra and the 3rd house are strongly associated with personal 'mental' relating within a social atmosphere. From early childhood MEAN BML would indicate that this may not have been easy. For some reason you did not find acceptance as being/feeling equal to other children .... and probably blamed yourself for it.
A reason could be the close trine aspect that MEAN BML makes to Uranus in the 7th house. It can denote an alternate mindset to others who find it abnormal, whereas itsmental thought process is simply different (Uranus) than theirs. Uranus can be taken, or experienced, as weird or genial of nature, according to through whose eyes one is looking.
I also study any effect of the 75 degree aspect, half of the stressful 150 degree quincunx/inconjunct aspect. Not as powerful as the latter, the 75 degree aspect seems to acknowledge the struggle to accomplish a desire. With MEAN BML this could lie deeply hidden. The Moon in 12th house forms an exact 75 degree aspect to MEAN BML. Struggles within the relationship with the biological maternal parent ... or a non-related pseudo parent ...or even people in general, concerning feelings or non expression of them ( which brings in the Venus-Neptune opp. Moon aspect).

The aspects that MEAN BML makes could make one feel ignored or neglected as a person. Pisces naturally experiences 'not being seen' because it simply blends in with its surroundings, taking on a form to fit in with others. Coincidence that the chart shows a Sun in Pisces, in the 8th house of personal transformation. Maybe you only consider yourself a hermit because of past situations that have made you feel so. The Pisces Sun has not yet disengaged itself from 'fitting in' to become itself.

In advanced astrology the daily motion of planets after birth can provide information on how 'life is progressing'. The Moon is in Cancer, due to complete its first cycle around 28 years old. The changeable feelings Cancer expresses may be churning, making one feel very unsettled. The 12th house has strong associations with the seek AND find parts of one's nature.

Mercury in Aries turned retrograde in the teens (mind association of 3rd house rulership?) and is now conunct natal Saturn in the 9th house. If mental-emotional depression (Moon square Saturn and their house rulerships) at lack of mental expression is setting in,finding the Aries active energy to deal with it could make a world of difference. Especially as progressed Mars is in its own sign and is now conjunct M.C. An expression of personal will in the outer (and professional) world. Who knows what its forthcoming aspect to natal Moon in a few years can achieve.

You have no doubt noticed the lack of the Earth element in the chart. You incline to 'live in a head' guided by active thought and feeling. Physical grounding may not come easily with Uranus forming a harsh aspect with the NN in Virgo. Yet Uranus could be the very manner of allowing the mental thought process to work for you and eventually experience that it's not abnormal or unacceptable to be different than, and individual of the herd. Become a person in your own right that no longer experiences being a hermit, and equal to another .

jemjemjem · Oct 30, 2024

Frisiangal said:
Hi,
I am wondering why you feel like a hermit.

I study a calculated astrological point in the chart called MEAN Black Moon Lilith. It has often been observed to suggest a natural part of one's nature that has difficulty finding expression in the outer world. The sign it is in at birth is often an indication of why.

From planetary positions in the natal chart, the birth date would put you in mid-20's. At the time MEAN Black Moon Lilith was transiting approx. 10 degrees Libra in the 3rd house. Both Libra and the 3rd house are strongly associated with personal 'mental' relating within a social atmosphere. From early childhood MEAN BML would indicate that this may not have been easy. For some reason you did not find acceptance as being/feeling equal to other children .... and probably blamed yourself for it.
A reason could be the close trine aspect that MEAN BML makes to Uranus in the 7th house. It can denote an alternate mindset to others who find it abnormal, whereas itsmental thought process is simply different (Uranus) than theirs. Uranus can be taken, or experienced, as weird or genial of nature, according to through whose eyes one is looking.
I also study any effect of the 75 degree aspect, half of the stressful 150 degree quincunx/inconjunct aspect. Not as powerful as the latter, the 75 degree aspect seems to acknowledge the struggle to accomplish a desire. With MEAN BML this could lie deeply hidden. The Moon in 12th house forms an exact 75 degree aspect to MEAN BML. Struggles within the relationship with the biological maternal parent ... or a non-related pseudo parent ...or even people in general, concerning feelings or non expression of them ( which brings in the Venus-Neptune opp. Moon aspect).

The aspects that MEAN BML makes could make one feel ignored or neglected as a person. Pisces naturally experiences 'not being seen' because it simply blends in with its surroundings, taking on a form to fit in with others. Coincidence that the chart shows a Sun in Pisces, in the 8th house of personal transformation. Maybe you only consider yourself a hermit because of past situations that have made you feel so. The Pisces Sun has not yet disengaged itself from 'fitting in' to become itself.

In advanced astrology the daily motion of planets after birth can provide information on how 'life is progressing'. The Moon is in Cancer, due to complete its first cycle around 28 years old. The changeable feelings Cancer expresses may be churning, making one feel very unsettled. The 12th house has strong associations with the seek AND find parts of one's nature.

Mercury in Aries turned retrograde in the teens (mind association of 3rd house rulership?) and is now conunct natal Saturn in the 9th house. If mental-emotional depression (Moon square Saturn and their house rulerships) at lack of mental expression is setting in,finding the Aries active energy to deal with it could make a world of difference. Especially as progressed Mars is in its own sign and is now conjunct M.C. An expression of personal will in the outer (and professional) world. Who knows what its forthcoming aspect to natal Moon in a few years can achieve.

You have no doubt noticed the lack of the Earth element in the chart. You incline to 'live in a head' guided by active thought and feeling. Physical grounding may not come easily with Uranus forming a harsh aspect with the NN in Virgo. Yet Uranus could be the very manner of allowing the mental thought process to work for you and eventually experience that it's not abnormal or unacceptable to be different than, and individual of the herd. Become a person in your own right that no longer experiences being a hermit, and equal to another .

I feel like a hermit because so few people can understand or respond to the intellectual intensity I experience daily. At some point, I closed myself off, stopped searching for my place in the world, and this allowed me to explore my inner depths like never before. I lived abroad, away from my family, for ten years in my youth, only to return and still feel like a stranger, as if nothing had changed. Everything else did—I changed, grew, transformed—but the feeling of being a foreigner stayed, like a shadow that followed me home. It’s hard to ground myself anywhere.

This is why I began writing songs—to release the inner turmoil through a philosophical and introspective lens. Everything feels mundane when you stop expecting people to understand you. I no longer do, and it’s led me into a sense of nihilism and purposelessness, especially when all my hard work doesn’t pay off as I’d hoped. This energy builds within me, feeling like a blend of the Hermit and the Tower cards. I’ve come here seeking insight from fellow astrologers, I really like your take on the Lilith aspect in my chart, very interesting . Another astrologer once said my chart is out of aspect, so I may not have a true Grand Trine or Kite Chart, meaning the energies aren’t as strong. Still, I have a kite-like formation, so maybe I experience similar energies.

I guess I’m just searching for answers, hoping to rediscover my purpose. Perhaps much of my chart’s energy hasn’t activated yet, especially with my Saturn return still ahead. Either my path will take shape as it is, or it will shift entirely. I don’t think I can spend my life constantly questioning my worth, despite my efforts, only to feel unseen.

jemjemjem · Oct 30, 2024

Outlook said:
Humans tend to ignore what comes easy and turn their full attention and interest to difficulties. Its wired in us. because difficult aspects create difficult events that camt be ignored and need attention. feeling overwhelmed or threatened will always trump feeling energised! and using all that righteous willful energy towards the threat feels a whole lot more useful than anything else.

a grand fire trine from technical points doesnt work. Because Asc and MC are both technical points it has no life of its own. it cannot shed any energy. so for example the mars gives energy to it but it cant receive energy back.

so you dont have a grand fire trine. the asc point is just an inert technical point thats good for expressing but its a one way…out only. the needed leg cannot feed energy into the structure, acting as support.

the moon is also under square to saturn…meaning restriction and responsibility. its weighed under heavily. and its inconjunct to pluto for control.

you do have a mini triangle that gives you originality, vitality, unique vision amd unique creativity and strength and depth of expression.

but that need to control everything, means you cut yourself off amd so are alone. you need to learn to get along, compromise to belong and to live amongst people. you need to agree to share yourself. we create relationships, community and a sense of identity by reflecting ourselves through others that we allow to be around us….our friends.

but if you were aspergers it would explain why that ability to compromise to get along, is bust. it can be fixed though with learned skills from ongoing long term professional therapy.

i think the way forward is by getting professional help to learn how to love amongst people and break down your need for control to let others in and live amongst people.

What you say makes a lot of sense. I’ve been in therapy for many years now, and although I sometimes feel there’s a hint of autism in me, my therapist has never brought it up. I think it’s partly because my vision is strong, which often creates a disconnect with others. But lately, I’ve learned to compromise more. I’m feeling stuck and need to move forward, and if that means collaborating and even sacrificing some of my vision, I’m willing to take steps in that direction. Can you give me some insight into what my chart shows? During my Saturn return, could I end up on a completely different path? And if so, where might that lead me?

Outlook · Oct 31, 2024

I suspect you will be doing what you are doing now, since the work you have to do with self and battle though, is very long term.

the saturn not well integrated. the single square to moon makes the responsibility, sacrifice and hard work it demands to succeed, as foreign to you and you see it as a complete depressing burden. you speak you left your community and are changed while they havnet. so you regard yourself different and isolate. you dont see that maybe you are then an agent of change and a beacon to work hard to share and uplift even a minority of them?

same as your sun is also not attached to the mini triangle except as square to pluto. so no benefit can be had or appreciated because you control that link for sheer fear it will overwhelm you. or more likely not be to your standard, liking or choice.

again the community with the two above attachments via Saturn and Pluto both square to sun and moon, direct you to work to integrate and belong and get the benefits …. by belonging.

but you turn away. it seems to me your enviromemt reflects your chart. whether you are there and feel a foreigner or a foreigner elsewhere … two sodes to same coin. it points to integration being the hard work needed.

your moon cancer is strength of the seeker seeking its home base. the sun pisces is strength of support to those who need to heal. both refer to the same thing. as does

what you then do is up to you.

Liv1312 · Nov 11, 2024

Hello jemjemjem,
I find your chart extremely interesting, you have strong water significances by planets and houses, which widen yout sensitivity and on the other side aquarius gives you the necessary detachment to be able to analyze and build you feelings, which makes you a skilled krafter. Fire on the other hand, especially Aries makes you keen to be active, share and make an impact. Aries saturn and mars sometimes can be a little too impatient, wanting everything to happen and to achieved here and now. Which is not always possible, and I agre with whom suggest that Saturn return will be the moment where deeper roots will anchor you to your path.

1. Moon in 12th House in Cancer as the Funnel:

• I have a bucket chart, with the Moon in Cancer in the 12th house as the funnel. On the opposite side, I have an Aquarius stellium in the 7th house, with Venus, Neptune, and Uranus. Should I focus more on the spiritual side (12th house) or the social side (7th house) to feel like I’m on the right path? It feels like I’m torn between seclusion and being with people, connecting and socializing. How do I find balance?
--- balance is made by learning to bounce between these two poles softer and softer and to open connections between the sides, which are not so disconnected as we may think - spiritual and social . Maybe find spiritual friends to hang out with?

And I speak from a bucket-chart perspective person, so I feel you speaking about oppositions...

2. Venus, Neptune, and Ascendant Oppositions:

• My Venus and Neptune oppose my Ascendant. What do these oppositions mean for my personal development and self-expression? How can I align what I seek internally with how I present myself externally?
----- I would say opposition in this case just attenuates leo's ego and makes you capable to present yourself as a person that puts realtion as a priority, more than mere self expression

3. Moon-Square-Saturn:

• I have a Moon-Saturn square, and I’ve heard it means I’ll experience major transformation after my Saturn return, unlocking blocked energies. What can I expect from this aspect, both now and after my Saturn return?
--- your career path may have a sudden shake, which will force your sensible side to deal with new challenges and make you grow (but keep your inner child alive don't grow too much to honour your cancer moon!)

4. Saturn in the 9th House Conjunct Midheaven in Aries:

• My Saturn is in the 9th house, conjunct my Midheaven, along with Mars, Mercury, and the North Node, all in Aries. How does this shape my career, public presence, and pursuit of purpose?
--- you're very stubborn and can manage high pressure. Be careful of rash decisions

5. South Node in Pisces (8th House), North Node in Virgo (2nd House, MC also in Aries):

• My South Node is in Pisces (8th house), and my North Node is in Virgo (2nd house), with my MC also in Aries. Does this mean I should focus less on spirituality and more on the material world? How can I do that with little earth in my chart? I’ve heard that having the Moon as a singleton suggests a spiritual path. Is there a contradiction here?
---- earth in your chart is mostly in your 6th house planest so focus on dedicating to work, and art seems like the best one for you

6. Existential Struggles and Music Career:

• I feel accomplished with my music, but I don’t feel like I’ve earned my place yet. I value inner achievements, but I still feel like I’m drifting. This is especially true on Sundays when others relax—I can’t because I haven’t found my place in society yet. It’s frustrating, and it drives me to work harder, which creates a paradox. How does this internal conflict appear in my chart?
---- Have you read The creative act: a way of being? I highly reccomend it. My opinion is music is exactly what connects spiritual and material world. I've recently read a book by Marius Schneider about the significance of music and it was extraordinary

7. Configurations in My Chart:

• I want to understand the bucket with the Moon as the funnel, the kite pattern, and the grand fire trine. How do these configurations work together, and what do they reveal about my spiritual path, personal growth, and overall direction?
--- fire and water are difficult to manage alone, so trust your air side, which is can connect them

And finally I just want to say...it's ok to be a heremit... I am too and I now know I can bring valuable things, learnings, sounds and words from my solitude to people around me. We just need to find the right people

and also, I was reading in a poetry book today that we as human are constantly seeking for recognition, to be embraced by a community... sometimes a tree, an animal, a piece of music can be what we belong to.

All the best

L. :sagittarius:

jemjemjem · Nov 11, 2024

Liv1312 said:
Hello jemjemjem,
I find your chart extremely interesting, you have strong water significances by planets and houses, which widen yout sensitivity and on the other side aquarius gives you the necessary detachment to be able to analyze and build you feelings, which makes you a skilled krafter. Fire on the other hand, especially Aries makes you keen to be active, share and make an impact. Aries saturn and mars sometimes can be a little too impatient, wanting everything to happen and to achieved here and now. Which is not always possible, and I agre with whom suggest that Saturn return will be the moment where deeper roots will anchor you to your path.

1. Moon in 12th House in Cancer as the Funnel:

• I have a bucket chart, with the Moon in Cancer in the 12th house as the funnel. On the opposite side, I have an Aquarius stellium in the 7th house, with Venus, Neptune, and Uranus. Should I focus more on the spiritual side (12th house) or the social side (7th house) to feel like I’m on the right path? It feels like I’m torn between seclusion and being with people, connecting and socializing. How do I find balance?
--- balance is made by learning to bounce between these two poles softer and softer and to open connections between the sides, which are not so disconnected as we may think - spiritual and social . Maybe find spiritual friends to hang out with? And I speak from a bucket-chart perspective person, so I feel you speaking about oppositions...

2. Venus, Neptune, and Ascendant Oppositions:

• My Venus and Neptune oppose my Ascendant. What do these oppositions mean for my personal development and self-expression? How can I align what I seek internally with how I present myself externally?
----- I would say opposition in this case just attenuates leo's ego and makes you capable to present yourself as a person that puts realtion as a priority, more than mere self expression

3. Moon-Square-Saturn:

• I have a Moon-Saturn square, and I’ve heard it means I’ll experience major transformation after my Saturn return, unlocking blocked energies. What can I expect from this aspect, both now and after my Saturn return?
--- your career path may have a sudden shake, which will force your sensible side to deal with new challenges and make you grow (but keep your inner child alive don't grow too much to honour your cancer moon!)

4. Saturn in the 9th House Conjunct Midheaven in Aries:

• My Saturn is in the 9th house, conjunct my Midheaven, along with Mars, Mercury, and the North Node, all in Aries. How does this shape my career, public presence, and pursuit of purpose?
--- you're very stubborn and can manage high pressure. Be careful of rash decisions

5. South Node in Pisces (8th House), North Node in Virgo (2nd House, MC also in Aries):

• My South Node is in Pisces (8th house), and my North Node is in Virgo (2nd house), with my MC also in Aries. Does this mean I should focus less on spirituality and more on the material world? How can I do that with little earth in my chart? I’ve heard that having the Moon as a singleton suggests a spiritual path. Is there a contradiction here?
---- earth in your chart is mostly in your 6th house planest so focus on dedicating to work, and art seems like the best one for you

6. Existential Struggles and Music Career:

• I feel accomplished with my music, but I don’t feel like I’ve earned my place yet. I value inner achievements, but I still feel like I’m drifting. This is especially true on Sundays when others relax—I can’t because I haven’t found my place in society yet. It’s frustrating, and it drives me to work harder, which creates a paradox. How does this internal conflict appear in my chart?
---- Have you read The creative act: a way of being? I highly reccomend it. My opinion is music is exactly what connects spiritual and material world. I've recently read a book by Marius Schneider about the significance of music and it was extraordinary

7. Configurations in My Chart:

• I want to understand the bucket with the Moon as the funnel, the kite pattern, and the grand fire trine. How do these configurations work together, and what do they reveal about my spiritual path, personal growth, and overall direction?
--- fire and water are difficult to manage alone, so trust your air side, which is can connect them

And finally I just want to say...it's ok to be a heremit... I am too and I now know I can bring valuable things, learnings, sounds and words from my solitude to people around me. We just need to find the right people and also, I was reading in a poetry book today that we as human are constantly seeking for recognition, to be embraced by a community... sometimes a tree, an animal, a piece of music can be what we belong to.

All the best

L.

Hey, thank you so much for this message. Even though I don’t have an exact Kite pattern, it definitely resembles one. My journey is full of oppositions, not just in one area, but across all parts of my life, so I get you!

I am an intuitive soul, reflecting deeply, maybe more than I should, my 9th house stellium, always philosophical, always searching to understand the deeper parts of life from both intellectual and spiritual perspectives, my 8th house Sun and 12th house Moon.

Though I come from a social family, I’m different in my own way. Many friends describe me as outgoing and bright, my Leo Ascendant. And I get it; I am like that. But I feel burdened and even a bit sappy when my environment doesn’t see me on an intellectual level.

I’ve searched for acceptance but have always felt unseen, family, friends, art school. My persona and my work are often misunderstood or left outside the group.I was never afraid to put myself out there; my fear wasn’t of being misunderstood. It was of completely losing myself, drifting deeper into a Neptunian space with no community to see me or share in my depth.

These days, I’m letting go of needing approval. But if the people who never really saw me start to accept me now, seeing only the final image without acknowledging the struggle, the raw edges, the sacrifices, I’d feel a deep anger. I’ve thought of changing paths, but no matter where I go or which career I choose, I can’t escape this pattern or these people. Maybe it’s just not my time yet, or maybe I’m looking at it all wrong, who knows. Maybe it’s not my time, or maybe I’m looking at it wrong, who know. Each day, as I expect less from the world, I grow lonelier. But being seen comes in those unexpected moments, like a synchronicity, not from ego, but as a reminder to stay true to my path, no matter how dark the road gets.

Sometimes, I even drive myself down dark roads in the middle of the night to feel lost.I match my mental state with my surroundings. It’s strangely comforting.

Liv1312 · Nov 16, 2024

jemjemjem said:
Hey, thank you so much for this message. Even though I don’t have an exact Kite pattern, it definitely resembles one. My journey is full of oppositions, not just in one area, but across all parts of my life, so I get you!

I am an intuitive soul, reflecting deeply, maybe more than I should, my 9th house stellium, always philosophical, always searching to understand the deeper parts of life from both intellectual and spiritual perspectives, my 8th house Sun and 12th house Moon.

Though I come from a social family, I’m different in my own way. Many friends describe me as outgoing and bright, my Leo Ascendant. And I get it; I am like that. But I feel burdened and even a bit sappy when my environment doesn’t see me on an intellectual level.

I’ve searched for acceptance but have always felt unseen, family, friends, art school. My persona and my work are often misunderstood or left outside the group.I was never afraid to put myself out there; my fear wasn’t of being misunderstood. It was of completely losing myself, drifting deeper into a Neptunian space with no community to see me or share in my depth.

These days, I’m letting go of needing approval. But if the people who never really saw me start to accept me now, seeing only the final image without acknowledging the struggle, the raw edges, the sacrifices, I’d feel a deep anger. I’ve thought of changing paths, but no matter where I go or which career I choose, I can’t escape this pattern or these people. Maybe it’s just not my time yet, or maybe I’m looking at it all wrong, who knows. Maybe it’s not my time, or maybe I’m looking at it wrong, who know. Each day, as I expect less from the world, I grow lonelier. But being seen comes in those unexpected moments, like a synchronicity, not from ego, but as a reminder to stay true to my path, no matter how dark the road gets.

Sometimes, I even drive myself down dark roads in the middle of the night to feel lost.I match my mental state with my surroundings. It’s strangely comforting.

Hi Jemjemjem,
I've been thinking about what you wrote, that you would feel angry if people accept you now, not knowing the struggles that brought you to this point. What is a way of being accepted that would not make you angry? Seeing it from an external point of view, a person that gets to know you now surely could never imagine what is the path that made you who you are. Revealing your past, choosing what and who to tell, is part of building relationships... in a way, from my experience, it's also a relief to be seen just as who I am now, without having to constantly being reminded of all the struggles and failures I've gone through. It's a way to experience freedom from yourself, which is, for me at least, an opportunity to transform myself. I hope I got what you mean, and sorry if my comments are out of place.
I just want to add that if you create music, then so much of you is expressed there, where communicaton travels through intuition, which is often much more wide and complete then telling your story, or even sharing the same experiences. What I am trying to say is that people may know you much deeper than you think by listening to your art and if something that you make resonates in them, this link must be honoured as an authentic and precious contact between humans.

All the best

L. :sagittarius:

Liv1312 · Nov 17, 2024

ah sorry last thing, having venus conj descendant probably a partner can have a big impact on your life, also regarding art expression, but mostly your contact with love and affection. Keep an eye on Pluto transiting on your venus in these months/years. Cheers!

L. :sagittarius:

Chart configurations / Hermit archetype and seclusion

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