Does our synastry chart show clues as to problems for me that will cause me to leave?

[vsp]

Hi, I am on the verge of going into an unconventional relationship with someone I feel will change my life if we start something ongoing. Although at the moment, I am fine with the unconventional nature of it, someone thought that I would want more than he can give to me. It would be an ethically non monogamous relationship, because he has a long-time partner, which I have never done before but I feel I've always been sex-positive and think of relationships as unique. But I do think he will change my life in a way and I also would like to continue a relationship with him of some kind. So I wanted to see if in the chart, there is an indication of how the relationship will develop and any clues as to what might cause me to leave because he cannot give me what I want. (again, we both want an ongoing sexual relationship so I don't think that is lacking now, I just wonder in the future, what I would look out for).

I posted the synastry chart below. Note, I don't know why there isn't an aspect line for this as it shows up in the tables available, but moon in scorpio trines mars in cancer (double whammy moon aspect mars). Also, I don't yet know his time of birth, so his houses are unknown (he is in red).

My own interp:

Sexual chemistry is there with these aspects:

Double whammy moon/mars,
Double whammy sun/mars
Double whammy lilith conjunct priapus (physical attraction by deeper needs?)
Sun/Mercury conjunct Lilith
Eros aspect Saturn/Lilith
Eros aspect Pluto
Jupiter in my 8th house
Lust conjunct Pluto
Lust in my 1st house (he has lust for my presentation/identity)
Mars conjunct Juno
Asteroid Jas in my 1st house - (my presentation/identity is what normally arouses him)
Eros near my Ascendant (too wide for conjunction)
ruler of my 8th/5th house heavily aspected
Venus aspect Pluto
Sun, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto aspect my Ascendant.

Longevity of relationship:
His sun, moon, and venus are in my 2nd house - could I become possessive of him and his love?
Saturn sextile Venus - A good sign
Uranus trines my Saturn, but my Uranus squares his Saturn - maybe I am more flexible to his structures than he is to mine? Also not sure if Saturn is considered an inner planet - since Uranus is an outer planet I know that outer planet aspects are not always counted because they are generational and apply to many people not just you.
Mars conjunct Juno - I think I read somewhere that Juno is someone that the native is not faithful to, because Zeus had many affairs in the mythology? But there are countless articles also about how Juno is a sign of lasting love in a man's chart.

Any other clues as to things that could go wrong over time? Is it something that can last, even if the form of the relationship changes?

 

[IleneK]

For me to analyze a synastry chart, I need to see the degree positions of the planets.
And also what is the the time of day you assumed when you made his chart [noon, midnight?]. That will tell us the range in the zodiac in which his Moon may fall.

So, if you like, let us know the time you used for his chart .
Then go the astro.com. There you can create a synastry chart, it will include a table with the degree positions of both your charts.

 

[IleneK]

Please forgive this long list of requests, but if you would remove all the non-planets except the moons nodes, that would make the chart much easier to read as well.

 

[vsp]

Here are the planets' degrees. I included the asteroids because that is what I find significant in the chart. However I will provide another picture of just what you listed. The time I used for his chart was 12 noon. Thank you for choosing to read the chart!

 

[IleneK]

Please forgive, but with my old eyes and brain, astro.com synastry has the chart and both tables of degree positions side by side and all on a single page.
I will leave the information you have offered to the more mentally vigorous than I , and I wish you the very best.

 

[vsp]

Thank you, I used Astro.com, and they are on separate pages, single pdf. Thank you for offering. I trust your skills so I’m sad to see you go.

 

[katydid]

Hi, I am on the verge of going into an unconventional relationship with someone I feel will change my life if we start something ongoing.

He will 'change your life' in what ways?

So far, it seems, that you are speaking mostly about him fulfilling your 8th house needs. Which is important for sure---but....

Although at the moment, I am fine with the unconventional nature of it, someone thought that I would want more than he can give to me.

Whomever that 'someone' was made a very good point and they had your best interests at heart.

The problem here is that if you deliver all of the 8th house intimacy and lust, and really enjoy that togetherness, each and every time, he will still get dressed quickly and return 'home' to his partner.

The opposite of the 8th house is the 2nd. The 2nd is Self Worth, Stability, Personal Financial Security, Values. His personal planets dwell in your 2nd. So I think you want to rely upon him for those things. but can you?

Those are the things you may have to give up by focusing predominately upon the 8th house needs in this ' situationship. '

What does he say about how this will play out? Do you two have to keep this a big secret? Can you go out for dinner or to parties with friends or is it all going to be secretive?

It would be an ethically non monogamous relationship, because he has a long-time partner, which I have never done before but I feel I've always been sex-positive and think of relationships as unique.

How is it ethically non monogamous? Does that mean his long time partner knows and approves of your affair with him?

But I do think he will change my life in a way and I also would like to continue a relationship with him of some kind. So I wanted to see if in the chart, there is an indication of how the relationship will develop and any clues as to what might cause me to leave because he cannot give me what I want. (again, we both want an ongoing sexual relationship so I don't think that is lacking now, I just wonder in the future, what I would look out for).

Sexual chemistry is very important and you defiantly have that here. But sexuality and intimacy needs to be supported by other facets of a relationship to stay satisfying and successful.

I posted the synastry chart below. Note, I don't know why there isn't an aspect line for this as it shows up in the tables available, but moon in scorpio trines mars in cancer (double whammy moon aspect mars). Also, I don't yet know his time of birth, so his houses are unknown (he is in red).

My own interp:

Sexual chemistry is there with these aspects:

Double whammy moon/mars,
Double whammy sun/mars
Double whammy lilith conjunct priapus (physical attraction by deeper needs?)
Sun/Mercury conjunct Lilith
Eros aspect Saturn/Lilith
Eros aspect Pluto
Jupiter in my 8th house
Lust conjunct Pluto
Lust in my 1st house (he has lust for my presentation/identity)
Mars conjunct Juno
Asteroid Jas in my 1st house - (my presentation/identity is what normally arouses him)
Eros near my Ascendant (too wide for conjunction)
ruler of my 8th/5th house heavily aspected
Venus aspect Pluto
Sun, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto aspect my Ascendant.

Longevity of relationship:
His sun, moon, and venus are in my 2nd house - could I become possessive of him and his love?

Probably. And likely you would want more of his time and lots of reassurance if he is spending important holidays and events with his partner.
The 2nd =Self Worth----how will your self worth be affected if he runs to you for a quick 8th house session than goes to spend the rest of the Holiday Weekend with his 'real' partner?

Saturn sextile Venus - A good sign

Yes, he'd surely like to continue this side hustle for quite awhile---who wouldn't?

HIS Saturn to your Venus---so he can successfully utilise your Venus in Aries qualities quite well

Does Venus in Aries feel satisfied in the long run though?

Uranus trines my Saturn, but my Uranus squares his Saturn - maybe I am more flexible to his structures than he is to mine?

His Uranus in Cap Trines your Saturn in Virgo---He revolutionises your restrictive, somewhat conservative inner nature. He is able to get you to bend in a way that you are not totally comfortable with? He charms you by reassuring you and making promises of him being accountable and responsible.

Your Uranus Squares and challenges his Saturn in Aquarius. You are going to challenge his rebellious and detached inner nature. You will want some kind of accountability and stability in this relationship and it may create some tension.

Also not sure if Saturn is considered an inner planet - since Uranus is an outer planet I know that outer planet aspects are not always counted because they are generational and apply to many people not just you.

His Uranus/Neptune are sitting right at his Descendant---making the personal not just generational in his chart/
He probably rebels against commitment [Uranus] but probably tries to hide it by deflecting or even being dishonest? [Neptune]

Mars conjunct Juno - I think I read somewhere that Juno is someone that the native is not faithful to, because Zeus had many affairs in the mythology? But there are countless articles also about how Juno is a sign of lasting love in a man's chart.

Mars conjunct Juno is very powerful in a synastry chart. Tremendous chemistry and sexual energy.

One drawback though is that Mars is often very possessive and controlling over Juno. Will he give you the same freedom he wants for himself though?

Any other clues as to things that could go wrong over time? Is it something that can last, even if the form of the relationship changes?

Well, I guess I haven't camouflaged the fact that I am 72 years old and a tad old fashioned. But I get the feeling from the wording of some of your questions, like the one above, that you are hoping that the 'form of this relationship will change' In other words, he will dump his long term partner for you?

That is a lot to unpack. But main thing would be that IF he is in a long term relationship but has set up you to be his side situation, HOW will he treat you if you become his new partner?

 

[vsp]

Hi, I understand you have your opinion from what I have said, but you seem to have used judging language that I don't think is warranted as it would not apply (as coming from faulty premises). People who see relationships as non-competing and kept ethical by knowledge and communication of boundaries to all involved will not see the situation the same way you have phrased it. They would be working from different premises. A related concept is for people who have numerous friendships, it is not detrimental to those to appreciate each friend for the unique qualities they have and the resulting friendship you have, and to care for them because of it and as people. You wouldn't call a friend you spend less time with for example, (which isn't even necessarily the case here), a "side hustle" if meant to be derogatory. But, there's also the underlying understanding is that everyone should want and have the same thing, so I am settling for less and he's duping me, rather than it's that each person in your life has a different relationship with you that you choose, and doesn't diminish the other relationships. I'm not saying I know that it will work, I am saying that if these are how people think about relationships as ethical then it will not have the same harm as if they were not. I don't have experience as I said I have never tried type of relationship before, so I don't know how it will turn out, but as I said at the moment I am fine with it and they are fine with it. It is based on what you want, someone is not taking advantage of you by giving it to you, without coercion. I may discover it doesn't work for me, with this particular man, later. But right now, I don't want a relationship like he has with his long-term partner. I am not someone who makes rash decisions based on the moment, because you then have information of the risk beforehand. But in this case, the information comes from the experience.

You said it seemed like the change I was talking about is that he would dump his long term partner, but that is not right. I was referring to the fact that someone (works in a field similar to astrologers) said I might want more from him, and in that case I thought the form could change to non-sexual friends or just creative/intellectual partners to bounce ideas off of, I don't know. BUT, I don't know the future, and so I admit one possibility is that I could see that other parts of our lives could align and want to share those parts, like a business, but I don't feel that way now.
But, I will have another talk with him as I am confused about some of the things he said and may very well decide it's not for me then depending how it goes. I may get clearer that it is not for me.

Although I think the questions like, "how will he treat you if you are his new partner" are meant to be a warning of a certain outcome, there wouldn't be the dangers that would would be there if the relationships were not ethical. for example, if he had a history of lying to me, then there would be more chance in the future of lying, say, but there were none of a relationship nature here. In a traditional relationship, people also grow and change throughout their lives in a way that makes them more compatible for certain goals and or less compatible, and it's not something you can always predict to the extent that it will affect your life choices. "would he give you the same freedom" - is this implied to be no because you said mars is possessive over juno, but didn't say the same for juno? Maybe the aspects too can go both ways, a lot of synastry interpretations say that especially house overlays, but I don't know for sure. I think if this was also a warning to make sure I am not taken advantage of, but again it does not cause the kind of harm that comes from coercion or lack of agency, a point of knowledge is to have a choice.

If there was concern I am misleading myself, thank you and I am aware that I need to be very aware of what my judgments are.

Also, for the synastry portion, I'm not sure if you missed that I said I don't have his birth time, so the natal aspect on his descendant may not be correct. It's interesting about mars/juno, I was reading some articles about more project oriented so I thought it was referring to the same goals. I continued to research up on 2nd house overlay and most of the interpretations talked about "value" and "stability" - in the sense that you value what the planet represents from the other person as a form of stability - so I think this interpretation supports that I may grow attached to him in an earthly way so that I may feel I need him to feel stable emotionally (moon) for example, as his moon is there. Yes, this seems true that he makes me feel stable emotionally. But I can see how with your interpretation of Uranus square saturn - that challenging him to be stable will create tension.

Thanks for your time! I would prefer to delete this thread as I feel I have given details of the situation. If you delete the response I can delete it, but I understand if you don't want to delete your response since it was lengthy. Thank you!