Hi people

[astral tal]

Wow frisiangal,
You are a champion,

Okay, I'll respond to you step by step,

Regarding life in general - I am both serious and laughter like, it all depends on the situation (and who's in it),

It's really funny, I had a conversation with someone earlier and I exactly told him that a friend of mine told me once that I have a death wish (it's true, but not anymore) I'm into life now, and feel that after the fall, when being awakened - I felt as if I was reborned. I laugh and shed tears allot (shed some even when reading a certain part in what you wrote), so yes, I was risking myself allot from a young age, and been on the verge of death many times (for example, when I was 22 I developed a psychosis that lasted for a year and a half, after doing lots of different drugs, in anyway - there was a night where I went outside of the city to a near by cliff that I never climbed, and did a free solo on it. There was a point where I was either gonna make it, or fall to death), I'm talking with you now....so I guess I made it

I don't want this long text to get deleted, I will continue the responding in few/several posts. I hope it's okay, I had some of my messages deleted by a moderator for no good reason, I'll be very frustrated if it happens to all what I write here.

 

[astral tal]

Regarding 'don't think about it and it will go away' - Im exactly the opposite - I think, I define. I'm big into defenition.

I didn't serve in the army, I started trading stocks at age 17 and wanted to continue with it. I got dismissed by acting as unqualified.
And besides - I have the feeling that I had many lifetimes in battle n stuff, I'm not into conflict by now.
My parents met at the army (during their service).

Regarding parental issues, I remember as a young child that my parents did not communicate between them next to us (me, my sister and brother) - we (the children) all had sun-moon opposition at birth.
My parents gave me good education, and they made big progress along time as they got older, it's just that back at the time they were very difficult people. The difference right now is that I'm an adult myself, so we can speak to each other as the people we are.

To be continue...

 

[astral tal]

Regarding relationships,
I don't have children, although I do want to have. In regard to the kind of women I like - I like girls who come from a traditional background (religion wise) but who as they got older - deviated from their heritage and rebellioned against it to become with a looser kind of world view.
I like rebels in general.

Regarding how I fell, - I was in a shopping center, I went to visit a women i met a week earlier at a certain business, she wasn't working at the time and so I went to the balcony, leaned with my but/lower back on the barrier, and smoked a cigarette, the last thing I remember is having dizziness, I don't remember the fall, I woke up after 2 months in the hospital, and since my eyes were still shut due to an inflammation, I couldn't see how thin I was and did not comprehend the situation at hand. Gradually while speaking with my family I eventually realized the situation.

To be continue...

 

[astral tal]

Physical disability is frustrating, by now I am walking again, but it's painfully, one thing I gotta say that prior to my injury (from the fall) I was quite a person of conflict, but not mentally as much as physically, I was into martial arts and physical conflicts, at least with people who tried to dominate me. Mentally I am and always was a peace maker, a world bridger, fighting for peace.

Some of my injuries are permeant but I'm still recovering and there is room for improvement.

Ah okay, I recalled what I wanted to convey - now that I cannot longer permit/allow myself to physically fight - I'm feeling relief in a sense. I've changed my orientation towards life, I'm here to assist, to solve things, I'm no longer a threat, so I don't exert this kind of energy into the environment. I'm more about being involved than exerting dominance.

To be continue...

 

[astral tal]

It refers to physiotherapy,

Yea, it's a great sentence...Made me breath in n out...

ok, that's it.
thank you man