FVRKAN, Uranus and Pluto are not in the sky just to hurt you. They are testing your capacity for change and growth. They are asking you to reinvent yourself. If you read back over your posts, see what old goals and thoughts are no longer viable. It's time to clear them out, so that new growth can take place.
If you can spend some time just sitting by the sea, it is a great healer. Your Libra planets are craving balance and calm.
There is such a thing as the OK life, the good-enough life. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Thanks for this. And actually I wanted to open a new topic and upload a video here but guess what, my EU internet data finished and although I added more, that supply finished too, and again although I ordered more this time it didn't work again and again and for some reason I couldn't add internet although I have money, and then I switched to the wifi of the place that I'm currently staying, and wanted to upload to YouTube as unlisted to share here because I couldn't post it was warning me like "too large to upload" and then YouTube one gave error like "process abandoned" while it's uploading. Today also all my facebook and instagram account has been banned for something extremely stupid. By looking at the fact that Uranus is also considered as representer of internet, that makes sense.
So, not only I'm extremely overwhelmed but also I can't pour out my heart.
I'm being hard on myself. You know why? Because I'm seriously one of the most talented musicians of the world. Maybe even the best. But nobody knows this. Everyday the masterpieces are being born and dying in my head. And I'm so diverse and multidirectional in art that, I have literally tons of compositions in different genres that never existed in real life yet. To be able to make them happen, I was wishing for equipments for the first half of my life. And now I do have equipments and money but this time I'm wishing sanity to be able to produce. I'm so perfectionist that, that also causes many not even startings or not finishings. The succeed need I feel is similar to John Nash's from A Beautiful Mind movie. The music I released are some things that I'm still not pleased of. Like the music I released are "meh" indeed. The more beautiful ones are in my computer, laying down as unreleased because in my mind "there are still some things to add" but I'm somehow not dealing with them because I can't feel psychologically ready. Therefore I kept improving my technical knowledge by paying to audio engineers etc and I had a plan for myself but when it comes to applying that plan... Saturn's 4th house transit and my 4-5 chiron square/opposition transits (Chiron is in 10th house in my natal chart as well as my Venus) and then Uranus opposition Pluto and Uranus conjunct Descendant... I literally but literally arguing with anyone. Any ******* one. While I moved my stuff from one city in Estonia I argued the house owner, then I argued the carrier guy, and then I argued with the woman who was the owner of the storage that I put my stuff in, and then I even argued with my current house owner in Canary Islands and there are more. And it may sound like there was a problem with me but I really had solid reasons. Anyway, as a result, it's hurting me and it's psychologically tiring.
I have just some thousands euros now, I don't have regular income, actually I don't even have an income honestly, I have no one, and I need to generate some serious income within 3 months with this because it's only enough for this period and moreover after April, Saturn opposition Venus is coming as well, so it will decrease my finances too. And also of course I'm stressful for my residence permit extension and I'm trying to learn like what would happen in worst case etc. So I'm having extreme stresss/anxiety disorders right now and plus, I'm being more unlucky. I don't know how I can stand this in a long term. I really summarized and simplified but this is really complicated indeed. Not only Uranus opposition Pluto but I also have Saturn square Uranus transit right now. But the only good thing is, Uranus transits are happening once in a lifetime as I know. I just have Uranus trine Venus and Sun trine Jupiter as a positive transits right now, and the first one making me alive like that's technically how I got the money (Uranus is in 2nd house in my natal although it's transiting my 7th) and brought some relationships ofc. And as for Sun trine Jupiter, I feel like, the other things are preventing me so much that I still couldn't use that energy.
It's nice to have some ears to listen and people who understands what I'm talking about. I was afk from this forum for long again and I was again keeping everything to myself.