Nodal return bad, but North node conjunct south not as bad?

[Emerald]

Hi, guys,

Sorry for the confusing title, but I was observing my current transits and relating to my past transit of north node conjunct exactly north node, and I am confused, anyone has insight on north node return and north node transiting/conjunct natal south node?

I have north node in taurus/2nd house and when I was around 18, and even though not much was going on in transits of other planets during 18-19, I suffered a lot during this north node return, like not having what to eat or almost being afraid of being homeless because of my dad`s unemployment for some months and not being able to find a job quick enough to avoid that (since it was unexpected decision of my dad to quit his job and relocate to be near his family).

I developed anorexia in an effort to be perfect and accepted, I was very materialistic (stingy) and desperate about money and suffering about it and uncertainty of life. I studied to the point of nervous breakdown to be able to adapt to the pressure of a good university.

Now, I am having north node in scorpio conjunct my south node and saturn return approaching, pluto about to conjunct jupiter and I am not rich, but I am not starving, not feeling so desperate and physically/mentally as frail as back then. Mostly I am anxious about uncertainties, and my sex life is a little slow (although in a relationship) but is ok, i feel better.

I thought the north node conjunct north node was supposed to be a good event to turn your life to a better thing, but my north node return didnt happen so imo, I suffered some years after healing of anorexia, with weight up and down, mental turmoil, feeling lost. Suffering with uncertainty and staying in a unfulfilling relationship for at least 5 years after it.

Now I am trying to change career, relocated and although not rich and having anxious issues, I feel safe internally, more mature and things seems , although being hard, to getting easier into place.

I dont get it, what is the north node conjuncting natal north node to represent?

 

[rahu]

i have sometimes found that transits to natal node positions often don't seem to show anything.
i would concentrate on the aspect to the node in your natal to get feel for what the transit is doing.
the node seems subjective in that what it does to one person is not uniform across the board.

rahu

 

[dr. farr]

From my perspective, the Nodes transit conjuncting each other, cancels out (temporarily) the influences of each, yielding a net neutral transit influence.
Also, remember that we must always take into account the totality of astrological influences operative during a given period of time; + transit influences can be offset by - transit influences, the totality must always be the final consideration.

 

[toona03]

Hm. So often people don't feel these nodal transits don't have significance. I know you posted this a few months back, but I figured I'd add my two cents anyway since this is a topic I feel particularly passionate about. The north node relates to your soul's path in life, and so often brings events that have a feeling of destiny or in some way pertain to the overall soul journey. I suppose this is a bit abstruse in practice but if you look at other transits of the north / south node to planets in your chart you may be able to glean more information about your personal path. (e.g. what was happening when NN or SN conjunct Venus? Etc)

I will say that what you are describing sounds to me like a -very- Taurus/2nd house North Node sort of struggle. I don't feel that North Node vs. South Node transits can be seen as good or bad, they merely bring information of a cosmic sort about what sorts of issues you need to deal with along your journey for the whole myriad of reasons that can be described in your whole chart. These things can take the form of events, realizations, or even destined "meetings" with other souls who help you along the way ... Taurus north node is inherently about the soul's desire/need to find a sense of STABILITY and SECURITY... to free oneself of dependencies of various kinds, power struggles, and a life that is constantly falling into survival/crisis mentality. Often part of overcoming south node complexes (In your case, you're looking at Scorpio stuff... so relationships, power dynamics therein, sexuality, financial resources, need for control / etc are a few aspects of this) is through direct confrontation of the pattern. So on your first north node return you were faced with a lot of different issues that really highlighted the SCORPIO side of the equation ... These were things that served to teach you about things you need to overcome, change, or evolve through. As you change and grow through your lifetime you will eventually find yourself learning how to strengthen and master the Taurus end of life. The Taurus/Scorpio nodal axis really struggles with financial things on either end... whether it's being way too tightfisted, constantly finding yourself in situations where you have to support others or other people have to support you, or even unexpected events that cause you to take financial hits ... Those with the Scorpio North Node are usually learning that they need to surrender willingly or else they will have to surrender through extreme losses. Taurus North Node is learning how to build, how to depend on ONESELF without giving away everything they have to others (energetically, fiscally, etc etc etc), and how to be in any kind of mutual partnership / relationship that is cooperative, supportive, and life giving through the development of clear boundaries and strong foundations centered in a concept of PEACE, cooperation and stability rather than crisis and destruction.

Anecdotally... I have the nodes on Aries/Libra axis (aries NN). During my nodal return at 18 (and actually the node-sun conjunction the year earlier) I met and got together with my first boyfriend, a Libra, who over the course of 7 completely tumultuous and crazy years taught me a lot of lessons about my attachments to other people, what they think of me, etc, particularly in close relationships (In some ways, my whole world depended on his view of me -- when it was positive, I felt great, when negative, I was inconsolable) Ultimately though this relationship also lead me straight in line with what I feel is my true path as an Aries North Node ... and taught me, the hard way, the importance of being independent, trusting my own instincts, setting boundaries and sticking to them, etc... and I have now attracted a partner who is much more suitable for me and I have found myself much more able to balance the extremes of this nodal axis in this relationship because of all my trials and tribulations in that past one (and others that sort of popped up in between). This extends even to friends, business relationships, everything. Just way better boundaries and a much higher sense of who I am through my own sense of self rather than through the eyes of everyone else (Aries NN, similarly to Taurus NN in some ways, has issues knowing its own identity until we start to get a hold of ourselves hahaha...) while still drawing on my strengths of diplomacy and harmony making as a Libra SN.

In a way, I see that story as similar to yours in the sense that the NN return brought me something that turned out to be pretty challenging -- but it also profoundly changed me and among all the other events of that period of my life, I was able to start the process of ridding myself of those worn out tendencies and patterns of being overly acquiescent and move into those which the North Node is asking me to develop and strengthen .. and am now pursuing things that are practically textbook for Aries North Node (being an entrepreneur, being decisive about my direction, allowing myself to pursue things that I truly enjoy rather than things that are "socially acceptable," and depending on myself rather than others for my self esteem!) and finding that life is running much more smoothly haha. When I was catering to everyone around me I got nothing but trouble and flack... but as soon as I stepped into my power, life and people etc have been pretty much universally supportive. Taur/Scorp will experience similar sorts of rewards when they take control of their life towards positive and peaceful ends... and learn to rely on themselves on whatever level they need to do so... so that they can be fully present with another person or situation without allowing it to overtake them.

South Node transit, Progressed Moon Return, and Saturn return all happen within the same year or two. My feeling about these are that they seem to represent a phase of clearing, purging, and cleansing for a person on the next part of their journey represented by the Saturn cycle. A time of karmic lessons, comeuppance, maturation -- rewards, sometimes losses, big life events, etc... I suppose the same rules can apply to the South Node transit -- events pertaining to your path, progress on it, etc... will certainly arise. Of course the changes you describe could be a part of that whole process...

Anyway -- I know that this is sort of longwinded and you posted this back in May, but I thought it might help someone. I hope it answered your question I highly recommend checking out Jan Spiller's "Astrology For The Soul" and reading the chapter on your North Node to get a better sense of what these things might mean for you specifically

 

[toona03]

Haha wow that ended up being long. It really doesn't take me any time at all to write that much... I'm just super verbose, I guess!!! hahaha.

 

[Emerald]

Haha wow that ended up being long. It really doesn't take me any time at all to write that much... I'm just super verbose, I guess!!! hahaha.

Haha wow that ended up being long. It really doesn't take me any time at all to write that much... I'm just super verbose, I guess!!! hahaha.

Wow, sorry, I just saw your post now! Was very enlightening! If you wrote a book about it I would buy it hahahaha.

You know my partner is Aries NN in 7th house, I dont know if yours is in 7th house, and is exactly as you said " lot of lessons about my attachments to other people, what they think of me, etc, particularly in close relationships"! He is having problems with his work mates (he sometimes is too aggressive or too afraid to say what he wants and ends up feeling like he doesnt fit in or hating working in a group because he tries to fit in but feels bad about that he has to fake all the time), he cares so much what neighbors will think, if he is doing something inappropriate, he cares so much about appearances, if somebody will think bad of us (I am included too, even though I said I dont give a s*it about it hahahahaha). He grew a lot after his teenage (he did stupid/fake things to fit in his friends) and, like your 1st romantic partnership, his 1st relationship was so problematic with passive aggression and dunno what else he thought of becoming celibate and didn't look for relationships for years. Nowadays, he asks me what he should do at work (damned if you do fit in, damned if you don't). How did you overcome these struggles? Ah, also does your current partner has lots of Aries or Fire placements?? I am Aries ASC, Sag Sun and lots of Capricorn, so I never felt the need to fit in and I can get angry, annoying, bossy very quick, without noticing and end up making everybody hate me.

Which goes to what you describe in the Taurus NN and the nodal conjunctions transits that

Taur/Scorp will experience similar sorts of rewards when they take control of their life towards positive and peaceful ends... and learn to rely on themselves on whatever level they need to do so...

.

I have a problem between taking control of my life and trying to control everybody else lives too in the way and creating destruction to my image and everything I built. I really don't know how to do that well till this day.

Taurus north node is inherently about the soul's desire/need to find a sense of STABILITY and SECURITY... to free oneself of dependencies of various kinds, power struggles, and a life that is constantly falling into survival/crisis mentality.

This is ULTIMATELY True! I create survival crisis situations unconsciously I think and I dont even know WHY! Maybe is my chart, even my calligraphy is not stable, it changes every second, in the same page, same paragraph. I cant keep a constant handwriting style! I still didnt find a way to grow out of this.

The Taurus/Scorpio nodal axis really struggles with financial things on either end... whether it's being way too tightfisted, constantly finding yourself in situations where you have to support others or other people have to support you, or even unexpected events that cause you to take financial hits ... Those with the Scorpio North Node are usually learning that they need to surrender willingly or else they will have to surrender through extreme losses. Taurus North Node is learning how to build, how to depend on ONESELF without giving away everything they have to others (energetically, fiscally, etc etc etc)

This is so amazing, how you detailed it, I think you are onto something, because on my NN return, my father quit his jobs, moved to the city I was living as a student and had to wait months to get a bad job they promised him. Then I had to get a job while studying for one year or more and study to support my family. I was on the verge of poverty, without electricity and having crackers as main meals. Weirdly, all the money i made I gave to my family and even to charity, but I was very worried and stingy. Gave too much I think, when I graduated I kept giving and working for paying bills for my parents and sister. Till one year ago.

But then, BOOM, I married and was not working to try to go back to university, my scholarship got delayed, very delayed (1 year), and I was trying to still control everything (bus money to watch lessons, food, so on) and not accept my partner`s help neither helping him to deal with money (he is not budget oriented), I even shared the bill per item while shopping for food cause I couldnt afford. I saw I was damaging our relationship, happiness and our finances by acting so stupid and creating again chaos where I shouldnt. Maybe like you said the nodes conjunct transit is also about surrendering when you should, but with grace, calm and avoiding messy dramatic situation.

One last thing before I bore you with my excessive verbosity, the hardest part for me, I figured out is not the money only, is the

giving away everything they have to others ENERGETICALLY

. I connect so much deeply with other people I get lost, I dont know where I am going anymore, I feel sucked out of energy, or without a personality, like i am there for everybody else but for me. This is so subtle but so important, maybe thats why I am not a stable person, with a stable inner life, because I keep changing to adapt to others energy and plans, never asking, before anything else, what do I really want, nor putting as a priority myself/actions that make me happy/feel like an individual.

Thank you for this cool insight so detailed, I will save on my computer to keep what you wrote about the nodes and the transits, it really helped me reflect!

 

[Maddy27]

Toona03 -

I have a Scorpio NN (21 deg) in the 8th house and you hit the nail on the head! EXACTLY correct. I just had my 2nd NN return and I can see that finances (specifically how I manage or own my financial obligations) has been under fire. The difference in how I handle these situations was the kicker of this transit. I saw OBVIOUS growth and maturity. I also have Saturn transiting the 8th house and my Sun is at 3 degrees scorpio. A LOT going on.

 

[Maddy27]

Haha wow that ended up being long. It really doesn't take me any time at all to write that much... I'm just super verbose, I guess!!! hahaha.

Your reply was so insightful and spot on! I would love your feedback regarding an upcoming NN transit. I noticed that I have a transiting NN / Natal Sun (3 deg)conjunction and a transiting Saturn /natal NN (21 deg) conjunction (ALL in 8th / Scorpio) happening at the same time. It feels significant to me but I am all over the place trying to make sense of it. Has anyone had a similar experience?

 

[!4C]

I have a Scorpio NN (21 deg)

I also have north node there. The recent return didn't produce any obvious life changing developments. I suppose I have started debating major life changes again. Only time will tell if this was major turning point.

NN conjunct SN seems to produce a vacation from natal NN theme and positive focus on the natal SN theme. For at least four years after I had this conjunction I was content with my situation even though it didn't really fit my vision of where I belong. Things worked out well with little complication. Low stress made this more pleasurable period of time for me.

 

[Emerald]

I also have north node there. The recent return didn't produce any obvious life changing developments. I suppose I have started debating major life changes again. Only time will tell if this was major turning point.

NN conjunct SN seems to produce a vacation from natal NN theme and positive focus on the natal SN theme. For at least four years after I had this conjunction I was content with my situation even though it didn't really fit my vision of where I belong. Things worked out well with little complication. Low stress made this more pleasurable period of time for me.

I am stressed and sometimes lost with this NN conjunct SN, but maybe because my NN is in Taurus and not Scorpio, so is more tumultous.

But indeed, is like sends you to focus on SN theme but for a positive result after the transit.

But is hard, is like I was going though the NN, then you have to wait and accept this transit that makes a turnaround in your life. And it makes not like you expected to. At the same time makes me go to the center spot of putting together SN and NN at the same time and laid it bare to the main problem and try to find a balance. I dont know how to explain well.

 

[Emerald]

Your reply was so insightful and spot on! I would love your feedback regarding an upcoming NN transit. I noticed that I have a transiting NN / Natal Sun (3 deg)conjunction and a transiting Saturn /natal NN (21 deg) conjunction (ALL in 8th / Scorpio) happening at the same time. It feels significant to me but I am all over the place trying to make sense of it. Has anyone had a similar experience?

I have kinda the same, but in opposite direction transiting NN and Saturn conjunction SN and natal Saturn. I am stressed and "all over the place trying to make sense of it" too Maddy. What do you think is your answer? Maybe we can trade answers and do the opposite, since you have experience with SN in Taurus and me with Scorpio? lol

 

[Mist Knacker]

Every nodal return or opposition I had was always somewhat difficult. When my nodal return was exact in late 2002, I developed eating disorder issues.

When they were in opposition in March 2012, I kinda messed with some success I was having up to that point. I had been on a medication that was working well for my bipolar, and I wanted to see if I could get by without. I was at the doctor's office, so he approved of it. After it left my system completely, I had a binge eating cycle for 10 days (the medication I was on helps Binge Eating Disorder). I also developed a health issue in my sinuses that was hard to pinpoint. In early April 2012, I ended up starting back on the medication.

Later on, we lost a couple of vehicles, which I felt was like an act of fate based on the nature of how it happened.

Rahu/Ketu axis are in 10/4 axis, and 4th house rules vehicles in Jyotish. A Total Lunar Eclipse had occurred in the 4th House.