Please give me some hope....

[NoMore]

Greetings. I'm 31 years old (f) ...I think I'm at the lowest point in my life now. Nothing went according to plan. As a child I was happy, above all (it's bad to say it) because I grew up in my country of origin far from my father (he had gone abroad, later we joined him too)... I was pampered and valued by my paternal grandmother, by my uncles who were still unmarried (I am the eldest daughter of the eldest son of the house), from the teachers and I was simply perky, happy and very "performing" in everything. At the age of 8 I went to live with my parents in Italy and my perception of myself changed a little there. At school I learn the new language quickly, in a few months I am already among the best in the class even in grammar and I receive compliments from the teachers, also integrating very well with my classmates. Everything would be fine except that I have my father at home...for him I'm "clumsy", I can sense it from the way he looks at me, from the way he talks about me...he wants me to be more "open" with guests when they come to the house, more interested in household chores (despite expecting a lot in the school environment too)... I'm only 9/10 years old, I see that I'm very good at school, I'm friendly with everyone (I even make friends with the school janitors) and I'm already "popular " despite recently arriving in a foreign country...yet my father doesn't seem to see any of this. Just because at 10 years old...I'm a 10 year old. I will never understand how he didn't realize how sociable I was, easy going with everyone, ambitious at school... I don't understand why it wasn't enough... Why. From there my life was just a downward drift of mistakes and insecurity... yet I was so promising, I was light-hearted, I was optimistic, I was studious, I was loved by everyone. Because he wanted to ruin my self-esteem forever. I don't feel like continuing the story, there's so much more to say and it only hurts me. I was born on 09.23.1992 at 2 30 a.m. in North Macedonia. I would just like to know if there is even a small glimmer of improvement in my miserable, pathetic and unhappy life. Thank you.