Pluto conjunct Moon in the first house

[Lilith97]

Hi everyone. I am feeling a bit better and I sort of wanna get down to the bottom of something. I have this Hades Moon aspect and I am sort of curious how it plays out as it was conjunct my Pluto basically all the early part of my life. My first memories were on Dec 25th 2000. It was most conjunct my moon during Dec 20th 2000 according to Astromatrix. I noticed other folks with those transits often have painful experiences with their mother during that aspect, heck i check my dad's own exact conjunct and it was Jan 2017 and his mother died the month after.


Anyways I have no memories prior to Dec 25th 2000. So I worry I might have had a very traumatic childhood. One realization was the way my mother was towards her own mother when she was her caregiver for dementia. It was teetering on the edge of abusive. I worried i was treated harsly as an infant.

I also have other things. I slept in the same bed as my mother until 12 but I started again at 14 after I got in trouble. I was alsl homeschooled from 4th to 9th grade but wasn't proper schooling. She was obsessed with my hygiene and still is. I hate that I'm revealing so much but i feel i need to let this out.


Anyways does anyone have any experiences with this aspect with yourself or others?

 

[katydid]

I have a T-square to my Pluto in my 4th house of childhood. I do have memories of my uncle molesting me as a young girl, and it has been a long road processing it all.

I am glad you want to work through these Hades Moon/Pluto issues. Yet I want to say that doing so while you are living with your parents in a car would be very difficult----more complicated than it should be.

If you really do want to work through all those memories and process it all fully, then the FIRST step is to set boundaries by getting yourself a new independent living situation. You have to remove yourself from the toxic situation before you can fully investigate your old traumatic memories of it. Bringing all of that stuff up REQUIRES you to be in a safe place.

Please reach out to social workers or churches or community organisations for an alternative living arrangement. You are young, intelligent and motivated. That is exactly the target audience for their 'self help' programs.

If you want, you can send me a private message here and I can help you try and locate some possible programs in your immediate area.

 

[katydid]

Also, I want to add that you do not need to totally cut off your family. The hope is that you can create a better healthier dynamic.

But first you need to look out for yourself, so you can heal and recover.

Like an adult on an airplane, one needs to put on the oxygen mask first and take a deep breath in order to then put the mask on your dependents.

 

[ElenaJ]

Lilith97, can you post your natal chart here?

 

[Lilith97]

Lilith97, can you post your natal chart here?

Sure!

 

[Lin]

Hi Lilith '97.

First, the fact that you don't remember anything prior to when you were only a little over 3 years old is NOT in any way unusual. Many people don't have first memories until either there was a major trauma...(abandonment by parents, having to move from the home quickly and stressfully...as in a fire or war, a near death experience such as being in an accident and having to spend time in a hospital, or other events which one remembers because it is not part of the daily routine etc.)
I, myself don't remember anything specific in regard to "time" until I was around 4 or maybe even 5.

As far as being abused as an infant or pre-memory time, if you were abused that early it probably would not be something that just stopped. An abusive parent or caregiver for instance, doesn't stop being abusive. It is something they ARE...prone to abuse those weaker.

Please tell me your definition of "Hades Moon." Thanks.

Your chart has some very difficult aspects. I can list them and discuss them if you are inerested.

Asking others about one particular aspect in THEIR chart really wouldn't be much help to you, would it....as we all have unique charts. So one aspect in my chart may be the same...even in the same houses and signs as yours, but my experience might be totally different.

I don't know what you mean by being "in trouble." I can't imagine a pre-teen of 12 sleeping with their mother. I am wondering about that....THAT is unusual.

Having the Moon square the Sun is always difficult, and in angular houses, especially so.
The Moon (mother and mother's habits, patterns, even physical proximity) has too much power...whether real or imagined.

Pluto....granted, is conjunct....tho widely, is your own power...which you may not know how to utilize wisely....and it squares your retrograde Mercury....this, to me, is one of the most difficult core issues in your life.

By the way, you say you remember that Christmas....what DO you remember about that Christmas?

Children under a certain age (different for all of us) don't "keep time" .....because they don't have to. Their schedules are created for them. For instance, if you tell a child of 3 or 4, "your birthday is next month" ....they have NO way of knowing when that is! They don't know what a hour is, a week is, a month is...etc. This knowledge is acquired as they need to know it.
One of the first times this happens is when the child goes to school for the first time. They know that every morning they will be getting up to go to school...and on "the weekend" they don't have to.
Also....with "time"...."It's time to go to sleep". The child doesn't know why it's time to go to sleep...maybe because it gets a bit darker and they connect that with the time they have to go to sleep. However, the first time they experience "daylight saving time" and it is still light out when they have to go to bed, THAT can be very confusing....when you think of all the things the child has to learn between ages 2 and 5....well.....it's really mind boggling...isn't it.

We also learn a lot of things unsaid and unconsciously.....these things stay with us all our lives unless we "unlearn" them. The things that happen in YOUR family household are not what happens in the family household next door....in in the next country....or in another culture.....that is what makes learning about your own chart so interesting. YOU are unique. Comparing yourself to others is always a bad idea.
Lin

 

[ElenaJ]

Please tell me your definition of "Hades Moon."

Actually Hades Moon is simply a moon aspecting pluto, or in scorpio.
It intensifies the emotions of the moon.
Moon also represents the mother figure, so this will tend to represent a dominating mother.

 

[Lin]

Actually Hades Moon is simply a moon aspecting pluto, or in scorpio.
It intensifies the emotions of the moon.
Moon also represents the mother figure, so this will tend to represent a dominating mother.

Unfortunately, a dominating mother.....a cold mother....an abusive mother.....an absent mother....a distant mother....is something not confined to being attached to Pluto.
After Neptune, I would say that the Moon is potentially the most emotionally potentially the most difficult energy to "navigate" in one's life....and it does affect one in one's entire life. It is with us every day of our lives.....as the moon also represents one's "emotional mechanism" and expression.

I would still like to hear from our original poster so that I could potentially answer her question.
LIN

 

[ElenaJ]

Unfortunately, a dominating mother.....a cold mother....an abusive mother.....an absent mother....a distant mother....is something not confined to being attached to Pluto.

Dominating and perhaps abusive are the moon/pluto qualities, cold and absent would be more moon/saturn.

 

[StarchaserNancy]

Lin says, "I would say that the Moon is potentially the most emotionally potentially the most difficult energy to "navigate" in one's life....and it does affect one in one's entire life. It is with us every day of our lives.....as the moon also represents one's "emotional mechanism" and expression."
Yes. Haven't heard many astrologers say this, but it has been my experience. Anything that hits my Sat/Moon has been torture. Years, too, w/outer transits and progressions. Moon, your inner life and early childhood serving as a template when these aspects are activated. One astrologer told me even "easy" natal aspects of the outers w/ the Moon aren't so easy.

 

[wan]

Hi Lilith '97.

First, the fact that you don't remember anything prior to when you were only a little over 3 years old is NOT in any way unusual.

Yes. I think that most people don't remember things from their lives when they were 6 years old or younger. Unless it's something major and even then they still tend to forget it.

 

[Lin]

I wish our OP had responded.
L

 

[Lilith97]

Hi Lilith '97.

First, the fact that you don't remember anything prior to when you were only a little over 3 years old is NOT in any way unusual. Many people don't have first memories until either there was a major trauma...(abandonment by parents, having to move from the home quickly and stressfully...as in a fire or war, a near death experience such as being in an accident and having to spend time in a hospital, or other events which one remembers because it is not part of the daily routine etc.)
I, myself don't remember anything specific in regard to "time" until I was around 4 or maybe even 5.

As far as being abused as an infant or pre-memory time, if you were abused that early it probably would not be something that just stopped. An abusive parent or caregiver for instance, doesn't stop being abusive. It is something they ARE...prone to abuse those weaker.

Please tell me your definition of "Hades Moon." Thanks.

Your chart has some very difficult aspects. I can list them and discuss them if you are inerested.

Asking others about one particular aspect in THEIR chart really wouldn't be much help to you, would it....as we all have unique charts. So one aspect in my chart may be the same...even in the same houses and signs as yours, but my experience might be totally different.

I don't know what you mean by being "in trouble." I can't imagine a pre-teen of 12 sleeping with their mother. I am wondering about that....THAT is unusual.

Having the Moon square the Sun is always difficult, and in angular houses, especially so.
The Moon (mother and mother's habits, patterns, even physical proximity) has too much power...whether real or imagined.

Pluto....granted, is conjunct....tho widely, is your own power...which you may not know how to utilize wisely....and it squares your retrograde Mercury....this, to me, is one of the most difficult core issues in your life.

By the way, you say you remember that Christmas....what DO you remember about that Christmas?

Children under a certain age (different for all of us) don't "keep time" .....because they don't have to. Their schedules are created for them. For instance, if you tell a child of 3 or 4, "your birthday is next month" ....they have NO way of knowing when that is! They don't know what a hour is, a week is, a month is...etc. This knowledge is acquired as they need to know it.
One of the first times this happens is when the child goes to school for the first time. They know that every morning they will be getting up to go to school...and on "the weekend" they don't have to.
Also....with "time"...."It's time to go to sleep". The child doesn't know why it's time to go to sleep...maybe because it gets a bit darker and they connect that with the time they have to go to sleep. However, the first time they experience "daylight saving time" and it is still light out when they have to go to bed, THAT can be very confusing....when you think of all the things the child has to learn between ages 2 and 5....well.....it's really mind boggling...isn't it.

We also learn a lot of things unsaid and unconsciously.....these things stay with us all our lives unless we "unlearn" them. The things that happen in YOUR family household are not what happens in the family household next door....in in the next country....or in another culture.....that is what makes learning about your own chart so interesting. YOU are unique. Comparing yourself to others is always a bad idea.
Lin

My apologies. Well honestly I had a lot of trouble around 2012 when I basically made up a fake story to distract my parents from my poor homeschooling grades, so much so I could have gotten into some serious trouble but was luckily saved. And yes I did sleep in the same bed as my mother until like 12 or so and then once again at 14/15 when I got in trouble (though that didn't last very long). Also what is your interpretation of a Pluto Squaring Mercury?