Problem with a woman Aries at work

[Taurean]

I'd just like to know how you would act in this situation.

The problem is that since i started working at this place, she has really been cold towards me, in all ways. I as a Taurus is a bit of the silent type, but always trying to stay positive towards everyone, even her. But it's getting more and more difficult. She acts to everyone else like they're her best friends or even family - but as soon as i even say anything, she's got something to say against it or just trying to freeze me out like that.

Why is this happening? I've been working there for almost a year now and the ice between us has broken a -tiny- bit.
My biggest reason would have to be, that she as an Aries, hates my laidback and silent nature - i think she's really offended by that. It's been a long time since i've felt such a sick feeling in my stomach.

I for my part think that again is very short-sighted and even short minded, but i still respect her as a colleague and person, and i hope for things to change and will always work towards that.

How would you react in this situation?

[moved from general chat to read my chart forum - Moderator]

 

[julia]

I'd just like to know how you would act in this situation.

The problem is that since i started working at this place, she has really been cold towards me, in all ways. I as a Taurus is a bit of the silent type, but always trying to stay positive towards everyone, even her. But it's getting more and more difficult. She acts to everyone else like they're her best friends or even family - but as soon as i even say anything, she's got something to say against it or just trying to freeze me out like that.

Why is this happening? I've been working there for almost a year now and the ice between us has broken a -tiny- bit.
My biggest reason would have to be, that she as an Aries, hates my laidback and silent nature - i think she's really offended by that. It's been a long time since i've felt such a sick feeling in my stomach.

I for my part think that again is very short-sighted and even short minded, but i still respect her as a colleague and person, and i hope for things to change and will always work towards that.

How would you react in this situation?

is there any way to make the synastry with her?

 

[Taurean]

What do you mean by synastry? Sorry for the noobiness ^^

 

[Mark]

I would take this behaviour as an indication of a shortcoming in her. She sees something in you that makes her want to act this way. I can't say what that something is, but, from what you said, it seems that she feels justified in treating you some way that she doesn't treat most people. That is almost always a sign of a problem. Something about her observation of you triggers her to act differently. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you. Something she sees is making her feel justified into acting this way. It probably has much more to do with her than with you. If you really want to **** her off, just smile and act like nothing is amiss. You'll be able to tell how deep the problem is by her reaction. If being dismissive of her ill behaviour, as if you are completely beyond her sphere of influence, rubs her the wrong way, it's definitely something deep inside her. If not, then it should be resolvable with some open, authoritative (not authoritarian) communication.

P.S. Just in case, be ready for the hellstorm of a woman neglected.

 

[Taurean]

Mark, thanks! That was a good answer!

I am doing what you are writing - just smiling and acting like nothing's happening. That's partially because when i am at work, i won't let anything personal get into me, and partially because i want to show that i'm not that easy to **** off. If they want a reaction, they are going to have to be honest about things and not play games like that.. i mean, it's a professional workplace.

Heh, thanks ^^ I'm expecting the worst indeed

 

[julia]

What do you mean by synastry? Sorry for the noobiness ^^

the synastry between you and her (just in case you know her birthday)

 

[Taurean]

Oh, right! I did vaguely remember her birthday, since she had it sometime in the first week i started there, which was in march last year... but i can't remember exactly the date. Sometime around the 20th to 25th. I can come back with this when that time has passed again.

 

[serafin5]

Dear Taurean:

I agree w/Mark; this woman is intimidated/jealous of you. Dont make HER problem yours. If she starts with unproffesional behavoir start keeping a log book with dates and times of incidences and then bring your complaints via chain of command at your place of employment.

Good luck!
Serafin5

 

[gamzatti]

Dear Taurean,I shouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that this womans attitude is due to her sun sign. As you know there are many other facets in a chart which contribute to a personality.

My attention is drawn to your post because I am an Aries and my birthday is 21st March.I should hate to think that I could be categorised with her and that sort of behaviour.We Aries people are pretty nice as a general rule and can make relationships with many types of personalities.

I have a Taurean daughter and she is anything but a quiet soul.It's look at me can't you see I should be the centre of attention and she usually is.However I put that down to her Leo moon. You see what I mean?

 

[Taurean]

Serafin5: Thanks for your answer! I don't really know what it is still. I'd like to think that gamzatti's answer is quite viable as well. About telling my superior, i've been thinking a bit about that lately. I work through a employment agency, i could tell my boss there. But not at the actual workplace... he wouldn't fare so well with it, i think.

I've never really taken moons and the other aspects into consideration - i've been very aware of them when it comes to my very closest, but not to those who are quite strange to me. Surely there must be something there that has an influence.

And don't worry gamzatti I don't carry the affections of one person's sign personalities to another whatsoever. I've met good and ... less nice ^^ persons of every sign throughout. And yes, some taureans can be overbearing, i've experienced that very well. Again, i guess that may come from facets of their birth-chart.

But it's very fun to see how things fit so well with people's sun sign (i know i'm going back to "general speaking" again).. but it's weird .. my boss is a scorpio, he's very quick minded and knows how to keep everyone in check. Another co-worker is aquarius, he is usually very quiet, but if he knows something he knows it very well. He is also very moody ^^ Which i find quite funny at times .. some times he's happy as anyone, but the next day or even next hour, he's gone silent again.

 

[sethi]

Hello

Please post your chart and we will try to see / guess what is the actual matter here

 

[Taurean]

Tell me how to upload the chart and i'll do it. For now, this will have to suffice...

born on 14 May

Planetary positions
planet sign degree motion
Sun Taurus 24°00'15 in house 8 direct
Moon Scorpio 16°51'24 in house 2 direct
Mercury Aries 29°23'52 in house 7 direct
Venus Taurus 15°17'55 in house 8 direct
Mars Scorpio 19°39'42 in house 2 retrograde
Jupiter Capricorn 12°37'02 in house 3 retrograde
Saturn Scorpio 12°14'16 in house 2 retrograde
Uranus Sagittarius 12°18'11 end of house 2 retrograde
Neptune Capricorn 0°58'26 in house 3 retrograde
Pluto Scorpio 0°05'51 in house 1 retrograde
True Node Gemini 6°33'50 in house 8 retrograde
Planets at the end of a house are interpreted in the next house.

House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Libra 16°24'19
2nd House Scorpio 10°33'03
3rd House Sagittarius 12°51'02
Imum Coeli Capricorn 24°18'57
5th House Pisces 0°44'30
6th House Pisces 27°14'23
Descendant Aries 16°24'19
8th House Taurus 10°33'03
9th House Gemini 12°51'02
Medium Coeli Cancer 24°18'57
11th House Virgo 0°44'30
12th House Virgo 27°14'23

Major aspects
Sun Opposition Moon 7°09
Sun Opposition Mars 4°21
Moon Opposition Venus 1°33
Moon Conjunction Mars 2°48
Moon Sextile Jupiter 4°14
Moon Conjunction Saturn 4°37
Mercury Trine Neptune 1°35
Mercury Opposition Pluto 0°42
Venus Opposition Mars 4°22
Venus Trine Jupiter 2°41
Venus Opposition Saturn 3°04
Venus Quincunx Uranus 3°00
Venus Quincunx Ascendant 1°06
Jupiter Sextile Saturn 0°23
Jupiter Square Ascendant 3°47
Uranus Sextile Ascendant 4°06
Neptune Sextile Pluto 0°53
Numbers indicate orb (deviation from the exact aspect angle).

 

[Mark]

Save the chart as an image file. After that, all you have to do is use the attachment function when you're posting and the forum will automatically add it to the bottom of your post as a clickable thumbnail. The button is labeled "Manage Attachments" in the "Additional Options" block below the "Reply to Thread" block that you use to type in your post.

 

[Taurean]

Ach! ^^ I've done this before... I'll make it happen in time.

 

[aKuna]

I'm a Taurus sun and Aries rising..so I know both well.
I'd say this is an abrasive energy between two very opposite persona..
Also I've come to recognize there is nothing outside ourselves all comes from within to be projected as an outer reflection..and now I ask
Why am I creating this reflection,
Why am I perceiving this and what am I teaching myself by it.
It really never has anything to do with other people (we only perceive it this way) it's about us transforming something within us to be more in balance with ourselves........Only you can know what that is.
it could be your laid back nature needs stepping up in public a bit
it could be your taking this more personal than it is by just feeling this way cause Aries are about me people and Taurus more gentle till disturbed in thier grazing..you may from your own nature perceive this as what you feel when riled when rally she is just being her
Good luck on the inner work of self and with the outer work in physical

 

[lilllybelle]

These kind of situations are so difficult because it's hard to know what to make of them. She may not have a problem with you at all, and it may be that she is a little hesitant of you because she doesn't know what to make of you. However, instinct is queen. If her nonverbal behavior is telling you that she doesn't like you, then you're instinct is probably right.

Common protocol says that you should just ignore the situation and act like it doesn't bother you, but is that really the best thing to do? What if you were able to get communication flowing somehow. I'm sitting here brainstorming on different ways you could try to open the situation up with out making her feel uncomfortable. What if you invited her to have a cup of coffee with you on the lunch break (this would take a lot of courage, and I mean a lot), if she declined right off the bat, tell her you would like to get to know her better. That's just one idea out of a possible million.

Here's the thing though, most of us including me, decide to not do anything in situations like this, and as a result, the situation rarely ever gets better. Good communication isn't always easy and the wrong method can make things worse, but the right approach can really open things up between the two of you, but what is the right approach in this situation? I wouldn't try "just being nice" because people who don't like you to the point that they let it show, often interpret kindness as weakness. I would invite her to coffee. It's an assertive way of being friendly.

 

[Taurean]

It should work this time. Followed instructions found on this site to the point

aKuna: Thanks for the reply! I understand what you say, i do believe there may be some misunderstanding from my point. It's just hard to see how someone can behave that way to someone else without having an inkling of how the other person might take it (basic insight). There's also the fact that she treats everyone -else- with humbleness and not me, which i find weird.
When it comes to balance within ourselves as you mention, that is what i always try to achieve... and therefore trying to find answers i can live with


lillybelle: About instinct - i feel that yes, she might not like me too much. But on the other hand i can definitely see her good sides. She does after all have a family and i assume she lives for them day in and out. She is also nice towards others, but also very direct and 5% abrasive, so it might just be that she needs to feel that i can be trusted .. and that might be only done with time.

I've had the same thought as you there, being silent and pretending as nothing is of course -not- the -best- thing to do. But in my situation at least up to this point, it is the safest thing to do, becuase if i start to be abrasive back and if there is a conflagration, i am the one that will suffer, because i have only been working there hired for almost a year. She's been there far longer.
Hehe, it might not be that i need to go -that- far, to start being friends like that. But i see your point and thank you for bringing that one up. There is of course something to it.

Yeah, i agree. I am trying to sometimes drag a conversation a little bit out to show her a bit of myself, that i am direct and trustworthy... even though i may seem a bit "sloppy" (you know, the Taurean way ^_^). I am very certain that she thinks i am completely soft, it's just that i never spend my energy on fighting unnecessary fights. And Aries' are all about fights also in the everyday conversation. I'm glad i have the insight in astrology to understand this.

Thanks for making me understand a bit better ^_^

 

[serafin5]

Dear Akuna:

I have to reply to your post. While I totally get what you mean on a spiritual level that situations arise to instruct and they are basic reflections of other things going on. However, sometimes, for whatever reason people will just be sh***y! No reflection on her being an Aries either.

Sincerely,
Serafin5