Tantra

[Ukpoohbear]

This got me

 

[Ukpoohbear]

‘The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.’

— Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

 

[Ukpoohbear]

I don’t understand the part that says, ‘who am I that all this should happen to me?’

I don’t get it at all. To me, the parents are to blame for the way the child turns out, if they have sinned upon that child. Once an adult, it now becomes that persons responsibility to do the best with whatever hand they are dealt. But I simply do not understand the question, ‘who am I that this should happen to me?’ The person was an innocent child and it was not their fault.

 

[Ukpoohbear]

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I don’t understand the part that says, ‘who am I that all this should happen to me?’

I don’t get it at all. To me, the parents are to blame for the way the child turns out, if they have sinned upon that child. Once an adult, it now becomes that persons responsibility to do the best with whatever hand they are dealt. But I simply do not understand the question, ‘who am I that this should happen to me?’ The person was an innocent child and it was not their fault.

I finally understand what Jung meant by, ‘who am I that all this should happen to me?’

He was, of course, referring to the shadow.

I was stuck on how a child is innocent and therefore should not need to point the finger at themselves.

And I still think the sanctity of innocence surrounding a child should be protected at all costs.

However, as the child grows into self-realisation, and begins to asks questions such as, ‘who am I that that trauma happened to me?’ Then that adult can begin to contemplate that shadow.

For example, the person committing the abuse is the shadow side of the victim. The victim represents the hurt and the pain, therefore the shadow side is the victim is the one who hurts and causes this pain.

By integrating the shadow, the trauma survivor can forgive their shadow, and forgive themselves. And by forgiving themselves, they automatically forgive the perpetrator of the abuse.



It only clicked when I read this quote,

‘The people we hate haunt us; they inhabit our minds in a negative way as we brood in a deviant form of meditation on their bad qualities. The enemy thus becomes our twin, a shadow self whom we come to resemble.’
— Karen Armstrong, Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life

 

[Ukpoohbear]

Just updating my smoothie information —

I am going to replace the brown rice protein powder with Hemp protein powder.

Brown rice protein powder was an excellent combination with the pea protein powder because together, they make a complete protein.

However, I have been reading to about the Keto Vegan diet over the last couple of days. It is basically a diet to get your body into a fat-burning Ketosis, for weight loss, and to do this, your diet should be made up of mainly fat, then protein, and very low carb.

With this in mind, I am trying to reduce my carb intake, hence I am now omitting the brown rice protein powder and replacing it with hemp protein.

Some of the guidelines for a Keto diet, I have already naturally been following, because I include quite a few healthy fats in the smoothie, plus I use extra virgin olive oil for cooking, without worrying about the fat content.

I don’t need to worry about fat content because I do intermittent fasting, which means I only eat between the hours of 12-6pm, and one of the most enjoyable benefits I have found from following this rule, is I don’t need to worry about calories or fat intake.

In fact, I am now changing the rule to only eating between 1-5pm. Today is the first day I am trying it.

When I first started the 12-6pm IF plan, I found myself to be really hungry in the mornings and it was a wee bit of a struggle at first, until your body adapts to the routine. I have succeeding done this for over a year now, maybe two, so switching to 1-5pm shouldn’t be that difficult.

My biggest tip, for anyone wanting to do a diet plan, is to do everything gradually.

For example, I follow a Vegan, low fodmap, intermittent fasting, and now low-carb diet. That sounds really restrictive, except everything has been done over a 4 year period.

It’s all a process. It help that I enjoy this too.

Another major tip is, I enjoy food, and I don’t seek to ‘punish’ myself by restricting my diet - the first thing I do, when following a new set of guidelines, is find a couple of recipes that I cannot wait to try cooking and eating.

I was a member of a vegan and gluten free group and I had to leave it, because it was just a group of people who were punishing themselves and quite frankly, giving veganism a bad name.

There was one lady who wrote a post, complaining that she was so hungry because all she had had to eat all day was cucumber and nuts and seeds, and she didn’t feel she could go on being a vegan at this rate. She said she usually goes to the local deli but it was closed today.

That lady was so silly and giving veganism a bad name. First of all, relying on your local deli everyday, is the same thing as relying on processed food. Some people just cannot seem to grasp how much they rely on processed food. Second of all, why the hell did it not cross her mind to cook some home made soup? She could freeze it and just heat it up any time she likes, controlling the ingredients.

On another note, there is a local p.t instructor that I know, she is not vegan, and follows a high protein meat diet. I went to school with her and I watch her instagram stories sometimes. Her body is amazing - it is very muscular and toned. Except, her diet consists of a lot of processed food. Yes, it is high protein, because she eats a lot of meat, but she will use a jar of pasta sauce to use as pizza sauce, or a jar of curry to go with her chicken. That is not optimum health. Yet, she looks great, due to the years of strength training. But how many animals had to die, so she could be more vain? It is an karmically cruel, high processed, shallow and vain lifetime. And that goes for the majority of the so-called fitness industry.

Whereas, in my lifetime, the veganism diet is the non-negotiable for me. I can have a cheat day whenever I want, and eat out, but it will always be vegan. True kindness, health and beauty, comes from being vegan! Not from having thick thighs, where all I see is dead chickens glued to her body.

Anyway. Food has the power to heal.

Just an update on the adaptations I made to my smoothie:

— hemp protein powder has a strong flavour and it also gives off a green-ish tinge to the smoothie, which can be a bit off-putting. The flavour is too strong and takes over the smoothie too easily for me.

If you don’t mind carbs, personally I would recommend a mix of pea protein isolate and a brown rice protein powder - although brown rice protein is low in the amino acid Lysine, pea protein is high in it, so together they make a good combo, plus brown rice has a neutral flavour. Pea protein isolate has its own flavour, but it’s not half as strong as hemp protein.

However, because I am now focusing on low carbs, I will be avoiding brown rice protein for now, and I will finish the 2kg of hemp protein I bought first, before deciding what to do next.

— In another update, I have ‘sort of’ completed the fodmap diet. The purpose of this diet is to eliminate all trigger foods and then reintroduce certain groups to find out which one is the trigger. I have now found out that Fructan and GOS are my triggers groups, so I don’t need to follow a completely low fodmap diet anymore.

I also tried to reintroduce GOS, but I’m still sensitive to it. Apparently, if you give your gut a break, you can reintroduce after a while. But I still need to avoid.

— also, I decided to experiment with vegan and low fodmap sweet treats. As a result, I made peanut butter cookies, maple and walnut cookies etc, ate them all, and now I’ve put on a bunch of weight. Plus, my attempt to follow a low carb diet *FAILED.* All of this has actually motivated me to start a *Vegan and low Keto diet’ by the end of the month.

I am starting at the end of the month, so I can eat all the remaining high carb foods I have in the food cupboards, like potatoes, rice noodles etc. and then when I do my next food shop, it will be Keto friendly, as well as vegan and low GOS/Fructan.

I am excited to try a Keto diet!! I plan to follow it until Xmas, where I will then treat myself to a wheat free and Vegan afternoon tea from my favourite bakery, Cutter&Squidge, to celebrate, before restarting from fresh for the new year.

Now that is my plan, let’s see how it goes.

— All I need to do to make my smoothie Keto is omit the frozen bananas, because the brown rice protein has already been omitted.

— I will share vegan and low Keto dinner recipes within the next couple of weeks.

— the good thing about intermittent fasting, and having a smoothie at 12pm that is already an excellent source of everything you need nutrition wise, is that now all I need to worry about, is cooking one meal a day, dinner, that is vegan and low Keto etc.

It sounds easy in theory, now let’s see if I find it easy in practice. Although, I have a feeling I may miss carbs, plus the no sweet treats until Xmas rule will be hard too.

 

[Ukpoohbear]

 

[Ukpoohbear]

 

[Ukpoohbear]

 

[Ukpoohbear]

 

[Ukpoohbear]

 

[Ukpoohbear]

 

[Ukpoohbear]

 

[Ukpoohbear]

Everything is a reflection of ourselves…

 

[Ukpoohbear]

On the early hours of the 6th November, at about 4am, just as, over the pond, the new King of the New World (Trump) would have been realising his new reality, I woke up suddenly from my slumber, with cold shivers and aches and pains all over. It took me about two hours of ill confusion to realise I had come down with a bug. Or, was it the jarring emotional state from one half of America being transferred over to me - could I have been picking up a type of psychic consciousness from a sudden mass population of people in mourning? It was either that or the recent consumption of erythritol. I did think it was too good to be true because I purchased ‘monk fruit with erythritol,’ as an alternative to sugar, and it also being zero carb and zero calorie. And, it didn’t taste that unlike sugar. It certainly seemed to good to be true, and I think my body agreed, as it seems to have rejected it. Well, after dozing in and out of sleepy consciousness until about 6am, I finally got a few hours sleep until 11:30am, and I got up, fed the cats, had my cup of tea (no monk fruit with erythritol added to it), and then had my smoothie. I felt a bit better, but it was only at about 2pm that I realised I could no longer realistically stay awake, and so I allowed myself a rare nap and set my alarm for 4pm, something which I hardly ever allow myself to do due to struggles with sleep. I ended up sleeping soundly until 7pm, and I got up and fed the cats again, brushed my teeth and washed my face and got ready for bed, thinking that I probably would easily fall asleep for the night again, and assuming I would wake up sometime in the early hours, which I did, I woke up at about 3am and read for quite a bit, dozing here and there. I did try to get up properly at about 6am, but my body felt absolutely exhausted still, which was strange, and I ended up sleeping until about 11pm today. I feel much, much better, but I’m still not 100%, and I’m not having any more monk fruit with erythritol. Although the timing suggested it was Trump related, common sense suggests I reacted badly to the new sugar.

 

[david starling]

On the early hours of the 6th November, at about 4am, just as, over the pond, the new King of the New World (Trump) would have been realising his new reality, I woke up suddenly from my slumber, with cold shivers and ashes and pains all over. It took me about two hours of ill confusion to realise I had come down with a bug. Was the jarring emotional state from one half of America being transferred over to me - could I have been picking up a type of psychic consciousness from a sudden mass population of people in mourning? It was either that or the recent consumption of erythritol. I did think it was too good to be true because I purchased ‘monk fruit with erythritol,’ as an alternative to sugar, and it also being zero carb and zero calorie. And, it didn’t taste that unlike sugar. It certainly seemed to good to be true, and I think my body agreed, as it seems to have rejected it. Well, after dozing in and out of sleepy consciousness until about 6am, I finally got a few hours sleep until 11:30am, and I got up, fed the cats, had my cup of tea (no monk fruit with erythritol added to it), and then and my smoothie, and I felt a bit better, but it was only at about 2pm that I realised I could no longer realistically stay awake, and so I allowed myself a rare nap and set my alarm for 4pm, something which I hardly ever allow myself to do due to struggles with sleep. I ended up sleeping soundly until 7pm, and I got up and fed the cats again, brushed my teeth and washed my face and got ready for bed, thinking that I probably would easily fall asleep for the night again, and assuming I would wake up sometime in the early hours, which I did, I woke up at about 3am and read for quite a bit, dozing here and there. I did try to get up properly at about 6am, but my body felt absolutely exhausted still, which was strange, and I ended up sleeping until about 11pm today. I feel much, much better, but I’m still not 100%, and I’m not having any more monk fruit with erythritol. Although the timing suggested it was Trump related, common sense suggests I reacted badly to the new sugar.

Get Well Soon!

 

[Ukpoohbear]

‘The shadow reminds you that what you value the most may be badly shaken if you let it in. The repugnance usually hides a very deep fear, a fear of being annihilated as the person you know yourself to be. I think that the older you get, the harder it is to face this threat of having everything you have built in your life destroyed. Of course it doesn’t have to mean destruction, but that is the fear. The more crystallised the personality becomes, the stronger the ego gets, the harder you have fought to get things you want, then the more difficult the whole issue becomes. If you have exercised self-restraint and self-denial in order to in order to achieve some value or ideal, then the more painful the confrontation is, because letting the shadow in may mean that the whole house of cards comes tumbling down. So you can see why there is fear and repulsion. It isn’t just an idle dislike. It’s a threat to established values. The more lopsided we are, the harder we fight to keep that figure out.’
— Meeting the Shadow, Liz Greene

 

[david starling]

Liz likes putting "happy-faces" on anything malefic.

Hey, even if you're paranoid, SOMETIMES the World really IS out to get ya!

 

[Ukpoohbear]

Liz likes putting "happy-faces" on anything malefic.

Hey, even if you're paranoid, SOMETIMES the World really IS out to get ya!

Do you think that’s what she is doing here? Most people think the shadow is just admitting faults about oneself, whereas she is saying here that it goes a lot deeper. So what you hate, detest, fight against, is what your shadow is.

 

[Ukpoohbear]

An exercise on my shadow —

Who I think I am —

I really detest females who are bitchy, rude, narcissistic, selfish. I strongly detest peoppe who are self-serving, and those who trample over the right’s of others, in order to survive life.

I pride myself on being passionate, compassionate, sympathetic and even hero-esque. As in, I am sure I would risk my life on the battlefield for my fellow man, as opposed to shoving him in front of the machine gun artillery and ducking out of the way.



My possible shadow —

I am selfish, crude, cold and self-serving. I will shove you out of the way in order to win in life.

I do not care about my fellow man. I detest animals. I detest food. I detest men and women both equally with a passion.

I would be a coward on the battlefield, I would shake and run and have to be shot for cowardice as I tried to escape the battlefield.

 

[Ukpoohbear]