trapped soul...searching for a purpose

[phott]

I'm new to this forum and I'm living a somewhat interior disturbing phase in my life now. This year's solar eclipse was on my birthday on 26th january and I sure feel the change of counscious, the need to be the person I know I am. I feel this is the year I have to make a change, I constantly feel restricted, I have this energy inside that seems to be trapped because I don't know where to channel it. I prefer not to give any details more of my current career situation. I had my diploma last year and I haven't been able to start working because there this big frustration or void inside.I've been on personnal spiritual quest to find some ground for my being. I want to find my purpose so badly, I need it, probably it will take me a lifetime to find it, but I feel this year I have an opportunity to walk the right path or walk closer, I feel hope for the first time in many years. I'm very demanding about myself, my Saturn ruler makes me feel not enough all the time, although I feel I am!

Anyway, I've been studying my own chart trying to see more clearly, but I have my limitations, I'm not very experienced in this, and I may be contamining my own evaluation...so, could anyone just take a look on my natal chart and give me an insight about career options or talents, if is there anything that stands out to you, something that catches your attention...

I don't know if this is the right place to post, but if you can, just give me some light on this subject.

Thank you all in advance, from the heart...

 

[archergirl]

I've put you into the Greenhorns' Lounge since you're a beginner. I'll start you off with a few observations, some of which have more to do with experience than with astrology.

1. The more you search for a sense of 'purpose', the farther away it gets. Your sense of purpose is already in you; it's not 'out there' somewhere. Stop looking for it. Relax. Be patient. Stop driving yourself and having such high expectations. Your 'purpose' may not be what you think it 'should' be.

2. You have a loaded 9th house. I think you may find that foreign countries, or long distance travel, or even just being a 'student' (in university, or a 'student of life'), will be more fulfilling for you than just settling into some job for the rest of your life. Take some time to explore the world; try to remain open-minded about what you find there. Often our 'purpose' is discovered through connecting with other people.

3. You are getting ready for your first Saturn Return. You may 'discover yourself' in a deeper manner under this famously challenging transit. This will especially be true because your natal Saturn trines your Sun (which is, you might say, your soul's purpose).

4. It will benefit you to further study the significance of having a 1st house Sun. The Sun is not strong in Aquarius, so this might in part explain your shaky sense of self. I'm sure others will offer their own ideas on this.

5. The lives of people with Capricorn rising often get easier as they get older. Take some comfort in this.

6. If you are feeling pent up, exercise. Otherwise, learn to be still, mentally. You have an energetic chart and probably a very busy brain. Learn to shut it off (and shut it up ) sometimes.

7. Again, be patient.

AG

 

[astrologer50]

Welcome,

I'm a modern astrologer that uses Equal house system. You have calculated your chart using the default on astro.com of placidus and I use Equal House system and am a modern astrologer. Lots of people that come into Astrology get their free charts calculated at www.astro.com and the default ‘house system’ used is Placidus and think that’s just the norm and all that there is……..BUT that is just the tip of the iceberg. You can change the default on astro.com in Extended Chart selection to Equal house and a few more.

Throughout the forums but mainly in natal astrology there are two main branches Placidus (unequal size houses) v Equal House (whereby each house is same size) but lots more……. For more information on these go here.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_(astrology)#Description
http://www.astrolozy.com/article19.asp

It's only with study and research will you be able to assess where your planets are deposited and in which houses... thus see which 'glove fits'

Now in Equal house your stellium of planets in Libra are found in 10th house of career, social standing and what you will be ultimately known for. Librans are famous for best procrastinating and indecisive but famous for charm, grace, great debators, diplomatic then placed in 10th house of Capricorn is ambitious, grounding shrewd in business and good with money and hanging onto this longer and harder than the rest of us. Same with Asc qualities...

My way of helping newbies is for them to do more research and learning rather than just ‘drop the answer in your lap’ and not necessarily to provide professional readings and forecast future events.
Having a Sagittarius MC is the sign of the teacher and I do indeed teach astrology. This forum is a wonderful community of all mixed levels. So instead of dropping the answer in your lap I may provide links and dangle carrots in the hope that if you are sincerely interested enough you will do the research and enlighten yourself….

Have you read the 'welcome sticky' at the top of this forum? It has some great explanations, links etc and also has links to forum rules & regs...

Your read everything regarding Capricorn here
http://www.cafeastrology.com/zodiaccapricorn.html

In Equal house your Aquarius sun is conj 2nd house cusp of 8'49" Aquarius, thus within 5' of cusp going anti clockwise is considered to have more of an effect in 2nd house matters of 'how you earn you money' values, beliefs etc.

http://www.cafeastrology.com/zodiaclibra.html

Your chart does lack earth but having lots of planets in 'earth' houses compensates. Your chart does lack water element and has surplus of air...
Will send you PM as the forum rules stipulate that only 100words can be used from another author without stating the author, book or website and as I don’t recall exactly where or who and don’t want to commit plagiarism, don’t have any choice but to PM as I do want you to have the full information or quote……

Now to career options and talents. Career options are assessed by MC any planets conjunct, where the ruler of MC is placed, it’s aspects, then 2nd house ‘how you earn your money’ and planets there, ruler of cusp and where it’s placed, then 6th house of ‘type of work you do’ any planets there and how they are aspected.

Your MC is ruled by Pluto and placed in 10th house, your 10th house cusp is ruled by Venus and venus is in your 1st house. But that stellium planets in Libra really cannot be ignored and has mightly weight in house of Capricorn.
Your 2nd house is Aquarius and 6th is Gemini, both air and communications is attributed to those houses, plus this huge amount of Libra air in 10th house. SO, your career MC Scorpio, has to be consuming, deep and meaningful but lots of communications. Possibly good translator, diplomat where communications skills will be required

3planets in 2nd house of how you earn money in Aquarius, you should have this inner feeling/knowledge that you will always be able to earn your own money and how you spend it.

Your natal venus is quite challenged by 3squares
http://cafeastrology.com/natal/venussaturnaspects.html
http://cafeastrology.com/natal/venusplutoaspects.html
http://cafeastrology.com/natal/venusjupiteraspects.html

Moon conjunct Pluto is really demanding controlling obsessing (like mom)
http://cafeastrology.com/natal/moonplutoaspects.html
but mom is also expressed by conjunction with Jupiter, over the top emotionally, prob when talking about something they are passionate about.

At approx age 10 Solar arc pluto would have conj your MC, did someone pass away? did you relocate? did your life change a great deal around that time?
Solar arcs are great for rectification...
At same time your Asc moved onto your natal venus in 1st house, so I expect some pleasure involved with this transformation?

Hope this helps


there are some good threads on Librans if you use the search feature for research
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15603
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13261&highlight=librahttp://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10175&highlight=libra

 

[phott]

hi there,
Thank you both for the input.
Indeed I have a lot of air in my chart, i have a hard time trying to shut my brain out most of the times, I'm always pondering this or that, and when I'm studying some subject I get obsessed about going deeper and deeper to grasp the full knowledge. I have to make an effort to remember that I'm just human and no one knows it all, all the time.

I'm glad you referred other house systems.- I read about it and all the discussion over the topic about which system is better can be a turn off to newbies like me. I've been analysing my chart in Placidus and in Whole Sign system and I'm trying to figger out what resonates better with me. I must say that theoretically I would vote for the more ancient system, I always think that in most things in life "less is more".Anyway I'm still doing my research. In Placidus my full house is the 9th and in the Whole Sign system it is in the 10th, it made me rethink a lot of things since I'm trying to figure out vocational directions.

One more thing...about the solar arc and an event at age 10 maybe, actually the hour of my birth is not exact, my mom say it was maybe between 5.30 a.m. to 6.30 a.m., so it needs rectification but I don't know exactly how to do that. Is there anyplace online where I can calculate that and preview it in a graph or something? Or can anyone help me on this please? I had a very serious pneumonia event at the age of 6 which made my parents become very very protective concerning me, which had an overall significance in the way I lived my life from then on.

Thanks for the help.
peace*

 

[astrologer50]

hi there,
Thank you both for the input.
Indeed I have a lot of air in my chart, i have a hard time trying to shut my brain out most of the times, I'm always pondering this or that, and when I'm studying some subject I get obsessed about going deeper and deeper to grasp the full knowledge. I have to make an effort to remember that I'm just human and no one knows it all, all the time.

I'm glad you referred other house systems.- I read about it and all the discussion over the topic about which system is better can be a turn off to newbies like me. I've been analysing my chart in Placidus and in Whole Sign system and I'm trying to figger out what resonates better with me. I must say that theoretically I would vote for the more ancient system, I always think that in most things in life "less is more".Anyway I'm still doing my research. In Placidus my full house is the 9th and in the Whole Sign system it is in the 10th, it made me rethink a lot of things since I'm trying to figure out vocational directions.

One more thing...about the solar arc and an event at age 10 maybe, actually the hour of my birth is not exact, my mom say it was maybe between 5.30 a.m. to 6.30 a.m., so it needs rectification but I don't know exactly how to do that. Is there anyplace online where I can calculate that and preview it in a graph or something? Or can anyone help me on this please? I had a very serious pneumonia event at the age of 6 which made my parents become very very protective concerning me, which had an overall significance in the way I lived my life from then on.

Thanks for the help.
peace*

pneumonia at age 6 is very important to rectification, cos you almost died, very Plutonian matter. So all you need to do is play around with the time until Pluto is 6' away from MC....... Plus your Asc SA onto Venus, you were shown lots of love and affection. Seems to fit doesn't it?

 

[astrologer50]

With regards to life's purpose you might like to research your N Node in 8th House in Equal house via these links

http://www.cafeastrology.com/nodesofthemoon.html
http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/northnodeinscorpio.html
http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/northnodeinleo.html

It's not just Whole sign house system that puts your planets in 10th house Equal house also does this cos the house cusp is same as Asc 8'49"

 

[wilsontc]

purpose, to phott

phott,

You said:

the need to be the person I know I am...I have this energy inside that seems to be trapped because I don't know where to channel it...I've been on personnal spiritual quest to find some ground for my being

One thing I haven't seen mentioned so far is that you have (self-expression) modifying (future goals) focused in the relationships house. This indicates that your goal in life is to develop a partnership that helps you express yourself in some way. The challenge is you have a bundle chart focused more on the left (self) side of the chart that "bundles up" all your energy to focus it more on yourself than on others. So you need to work to develop relationships with those around you and work hard to express yourself to others. This will help you find that sense of "completion" that you have been looking for.

archer had a great suggestion at how to make this "partnering" happen:

You have a loaded 9th house. I think you may find that foreign countries, or long distance travel, or even just being a 'student' (in university, or a 'student of life'), will be more fulfilling for you than just settling into some job for the rest of your life. Take some time to explore the world; try to remain open-minded about what you find there. Often our 'purpose' is discovered through connecting with other people.

Purposefully,

Tim

 

[waybread]

Re: purpose, to phott

Phott, just a few add-ons to what the others have said. (based on the birth time given--if it changes, the following may become irrelevant.)

1. Your MC (10th house cusp) shows your vocation. Not just a job, but more of a sense of your public image, and even destiny. It's in Scorpio, which makes your MC ruler Pluto. Pluto is located in your 9th house, so presumably you would be happiest with a "9th house career", and one that gives you a life on the edge; a career lived with intensity and transformative potential.

2. The 9th house deals with various horizon-expanding activities such as overseas travel, higher education, philosophy, theology, and publications of enduring value. It also includes law and judicial systems, foreign countries, import-export businesses, foreign relations, philanthropies, science, teaching, and shipping. So a lot to chose from, but it should be mind- or space-expanding in some way.

3. OK, but then let's get a better sense of who you are. Your ascendant is in Capricorn. Saturn thereby becomes your chart ruler, as well as the house ruler for your Aquarian sun. Aquarius is considered to be the scientist and inventor; as well as the social activist. Saturn is also located in your 9th house. The moon deals with your emotional and sub-conscious nature, and she's in the 9th house. Looks like a pattern! So you might read up on 9th house activities.

4. So what planet rules the 9th house? With fair-minded Libra on the cusp, it is Venus. Venus now puts us in a loop, because she is also in your first house, in Capricorn. But she squares those 9th house planets. Squares don't give you any rest. They are always after you to do something.

5. As Tim noted, your NN is in Leo. Usually the 7th house means one-on-one relationships, but it can be the house of "open enemies" as well as business partners.

How do you feel about a career in law? Either international law that uses your 9th house in a double sense; or some kind of social justice focus that accentuates your Aquarius sun. Better yet, work for social justice for victims overseas, such as in Dafur.

You would seem to have a very sharp mind, with your sun/Mars in Aquarius in the 3rd house of mental activity, and trining your 9th house planets. If you would like an academic career, you would probably do well at it.

But archergirl is right. Sometimes people have a vocation, but they just are not going to access it till later in life. In the meantime, if you do good work and develop useful skills, you will be ready when the time comes.

 

[Niplan]

Mars merc aqu 3rd moon travel 9th saturn merc

May indicate a good ability to be forcefull and aggressive with thoughts and communication a rash actor, May be tight with money, prone to accidents with objects, may break a lot of things by accident. You may be well as someone such as a quick thinking broker, a negotiator of some kind, a debater of ideals.

Moon jupiter saturn conjunct 9th libra,
Could have a need and desire to travel, however that is crushed by saturn, kept in check, and slightly expanded, the person may have a very strict home or nutrturing nature.

Venus first cap earth trip, May indicate a person who feels at odds with themselves on how they feel emotionaly, as venus is tugging on the moon as well as jupiter and saturn. She is however stronger as she is in her triplicity and slightly protected.

 

[R4VEN]

Phott, I've been messing around with your time of birth, and a time of 6:06am gives you an MC which is 6 degrees past your Pluto. This is possibly a more accurate birth time given your serious illness at age 6.

Looking at the chart of a 6:06am birth, the thing that jumps out at me is the law - all that Libra in the 9th house, and the law also fits well with Cap Rising, which can be a very judgemental and driven-to-right-wrongs kind of energy. I have Capricorn Rising, and I'm always going in to fight something or other, believing that I have the capacity - and the right - to fight everyone's battles!

I like what waybread suggests in her 2nd post above. You can - once you pass your Saturn return - look to engage in some kind of activity which has a basic value of social justice and equality/egalitarianism. That conjunction between Mars and mercury in Aquarius needs a focus, I feel. Aquarius is thinking energy, but it is also happiest when it is being focused in an altruistic way.

Also, others have said to bide your time, and I agree. Were you to make decisions from a need to have made a decision, then the decision you make is likely to be one with which you'll not be satisfied. You have your whole life, and with Capricorn Rising, what you decide now may suit you for now, but will not suit you at say, age 40. Nothing you do will be wasted. Everything has some kind of purpose in your life.

 

[phott]

Hi everybody,
Thank you all for the insights.

About my north node... I've been studying it and I relate to the need to just be myself, to let myself shine, to develop my self confidence and don't wait for the other's support to go do my thing. My Capricorn is always teeling me "be wise, in control, do the right thing, think of the consequences, is it stable?" and seems to need other's repect, needs to feel competent, de best in its field, responsible. This tension I put on myself seems to be what keeps me from really relating to other people. When I feel unsatisfied with my carreer I isolate myself, I avoid even my friends, I only feel confortable with strangers in those times. That's why I don't date, because if I don't feel passionate in my life about what I do I don't feel my life is worth sharing.

My friends seem to admire a lot of my qualities, my writing, my humour, my intelect, my singing...they don't understand why I keep it all hidden from the world, why I feel so stuck...well neither do I :S so I guess my north node is screaming for me to go and relate to others and I shall release all this energy I have inside, all this expression.

I only have neptune (12th in sagittarius) and my north node (7th in leo) in fire signs. The North Node is what I must go toward (I'm not there yet for sure specially with my south node in aquarius pulling me to my old patterns) and the Neptune seems to be all I keep hidden (dreams, passions, fears, beliefs, unconscious). Maybe that's why I feel this latent fire urge inside that I don't seem to be able to fullfill, or to vent, to make it reality. It's a fire that is there but never becomes!I usually release my fire when I sing or dance, but is something I keep for myself, away from scrutiny...usually people get really surprised when they know that part of me, because they would never guessed I could be so passionate and released.

Only the family who lives with me knows the fun loving energetic humorous and expansive leo that is in me, the one singing Frank Sinatra's classics around the house early in a monday morning LOLOL...the minute I walk out the door it's a more dry person, serious, anxious trying to be in control.

phott*