Saturn has been retro since June, and is now ready to turn ‘direct’ again on November 1, where it will adversely affect your Moon, and further emphasize the t-square . The retrograde period allows us time to reconsider and evaluate: to look inward in determining our ‘current state of being’. At the same time
the Saturn Return is significant in so much as it represents a ‘crossing of the threshold into maturity’.
This particular transit is about having the awareness and consciousness to reassert the Identity in a more balanced way. Letting go of childhood fears and perceived weaknesses is a necessary part of the healing. Above all, the key is about learning to forgive the past and move on with greater confidence about who you are and what you are here to do”.
Saturn typically relates to personal areas of restrictions and limitations, weaknesses and fears that we must overcome in order to move gradually to realize our full potential.
Initially, the themes of Saturn can seem depressing, but the energies released are an attempt to bring structure and meaning to our world.It represents our past development which contributes to the personal boundaries
we have set for ourselves in this lifetime.
Still, we also learn much from Saturn’s natal position as it shows some of our embedded fears, restrictions and limitations, which can contribute to social dysfunctions or detachment.
https://cafeastrology.com/natal/saturn-signs.html.
Since Saturn rules [puts restrictions] on your 7th H, this further emphasizes your difficulties in social relationships
Of special note is the t-square configuration that predominates the chart: Saturn in opposition with Jupiter, while both square Venus. Since that configuration has recently been amplified for you, it is no wonder you feel intense pressure to commit to a particular path in life.
“I go from moments of pure optimism to moments of complete dread”.
This is especially denoted by the opposition of Saturn/Jupiter. Add Venus to the mix, and issues relating to your sense of self-esteem/confidence mixes things up. That is one of your primary lessons in life.
Our conditioning up until the age of 7 is largely based on the parents’ influence, which is denoted initially by the interaction between the Sun and Moon in the chart. In your case, you were born at the First Quarter Phase, meaning there was likely tension between the parents in early life; while such memories are planted deep within the psyche, they still can manifest as personal difficulties at the conscious level.
Your Aries Sun in the 10th H represents ‘the father’ while the Moon /Cancer in the 12th H represents ‘the mother’: as such we might conclude that there was some ongoing discord between the two, which may well have played out as the father being domineering, while the mother was more complacent. Your experience as a witness to the interactions between them may have seemed contradictory or confrontational, which was then imprinted on your early psyche.
Our early conditioning has a profound effect on our personal social/relationship development in life. Another important factor to consider regarding our overall life path comes through the Nodal Axis,
which can help to provide clarity in terms of our individual path in this lifetime.
“The North Node is the single most important point in the chart…it describes what your Soul wants to learn and experience in this life. It is our individual Soul Messenger.”
The South Node describes the themes and dispositions brought over from our previous life and were further developed through our early childhood conditioning. As we move through the Saturn return, honest self-evaluation is demanded of us in order to defeat our inner demons and move forward in our personal journey of evolution. As Saturn moves away from the influence of the Saturn Return, it then moves into adversity with your Moon which can also undermine your emotional stability.
For you, this demands that you work towards a balancing between the
the energies that fluctuate between Saturn [in Aquarius] and Jupiter [in Leo]: achieving such balance must eventually be reconciled within the psyche in order to strengthen the energy of a weakened Venus [
low self-esteem, lack of confidence, introversion, fear ]].
I am available to offer you personal guidance should you wish to continue to examine the implications of your chart and learn how to track your transits, which are also an important factor to take into account. Namaste.