Raquel, the reason why Venus isn't associated with lust is because of her "nature." Sure, she was known for her beauty and vanity, but lust wasn't one of it. Actually, she was quite cool-headed about lust. She liked being fawned over, admired, adored, desired but she herself wasn't lusting anyone... until Mars came along! The sexy god of war made Venus lost her cool and she was crazy over him. It was when Venus got "aspected" by Mars that her lust flourished.
Apply that story to astrology and you'll see why Venus and Mars aspects create love/sex combos.
I see Cap Mars as being level headed, cool, controlled, self-disciplined. Unless other factors come into play that could weaken the Cap Mars' hold on self-control, the natives really aren't going to be "lustful," at least not outright. They're good at keeping everything under wraps and waiting until the "right" moment comes along. So Saturnian, I'm not surprised that your friend/date hadn't kissed before. And you shouldn't be either. Cap Mars tends to be very careful with who they get involved with on the physical level.
Piscesasc, you've got quite a lovely exalted venus- exalted mars combo there! I knew someone like that. Actually, he and I discussed astrology and I got a bit better at it because of my talks with him. As far as him being lustful? I don't know really. I mean, he liked a few chicks that he told me about but he was super duper careful as to who he got involved with.
The combo that I think is really lustful and exciting is Venus conjunct Mars in fire signs. Talk about combustion!! I called that the "it factor." In general, I think there's just something that really draws others to a Venus conj Mars person like flies to honey (no matter what element).
I don't have any of that lovely, magnetic "sex appeal" or "lustiness." My cool headed Gemini Venus makes only 3 aspects: conj Mercury, opp Neptune, and trine Pluto exact. I find that Venus trine Pluto aspect attracts creepy obsessive people towards me but doesn't add any excitement to my love or lust life